Undergraduate Biology Research Scholarship
1. How did you become interested in science?
What areas or aspects of science interest you the most and why?
Science has been a fundamental tool in both understanding the world around me and understanding myself. At a young age, I began to question the mechanisms through which the world functioned. By age six, I was dissecting grasshoppers and spiders found in my garage; how did they hop so far, and why would any creature need eight legs? My fascination grew as I entered high school chemistry and watched liquids become solids in an instant, and a clear liquid turn pink with a single drop. Chemistry became my passion and I aspired to study groundwater chemistry with a degree in hydrogeology. This all changed after my sophomore year of college, when unforeseen events led me down a new path.
My journey to a career in the field of biology stemmed from a personal journey of self-investigation. Beginning at a young age, I had more health problems than my peers. Upon entering high school, I was riddled with migraines and joint pain of which there was no obvious source. I was diagnosed with chronic pain syndrome (CPS) when I was 14 years old - a diagnosis given to people whose pain has no known cause. Throughout high school and into college I struggled to keep up with the demands of obtaining an education. Unfortunately, this illness progressed and during my sophomore year of college I had to leave school. This event was the catalyst that brought me to the world of biology.
Throughout the years I had seen numerous doctors and tried even more medications, none of which provided relief. By this time, my doctors were at a loss for where to go next, and I was told I would likely be in pain for the rest of my life. I refused to accept this as truth and began my own investigation into what was causing my pain. Over the next two years I dove into current research in the medical community, particularly in the field of metabolic therapies regarding autoimmune disorders and inflammation. I was focused on finding the source of the pain, something the medical community did not show interest in. After extensive experimentation, I am now living pain free. This experience, along with my passion for laboratory science led me to seek an undergraduate degree in biology. The marriage of my love for chemistry and personal investment in biology and medicine has led me to further my education in the field of pharmacology.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Hi Kylie, I really believe that the last 2 paragraphs of your essay more than accurately responds to the prompt requirements. It has a more impressive representation of how your interest in Science grew and evolved over time due to personal reasons. Your story of pain management is something that could definitely be a catalyst for an interest in science and pain prevention. You did a good job of making that connection between your personal story and science. Good job!
Don't use the first paragraph because the interest you speak of is too juvenile to be taken seriously as a pivotal moment in the development of your scientific interest. At the age of 6, you were just naturally curious but it was not really related to science in a manner that could help create a more impressive response. Losing it created the stronger response presentation which also created a more interesting presentation.
Change the timeline reference for the last paragraph though. You speak of things in past tense when you should be presenting the information in current form. Present tense. You could even use future tense presentations in this paragraph since it asks about the current areas of science that interest you the most. That change in reference discussion will further strengthen the presentation and create a cohesive response presentation that the reviewer will be interested to read about.
