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I love my life, life loves me. KGSP graduate program. Personal statement

utegenf 1 / -  
Jul 1, 2019   #1

my passion to learn, my motivation to study

Guys, i am gonna apply for the master's degree in Korea, so can you check my essay please? I will be very grateful
o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to GKS.
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion
for graduate study or research.

I love my life, life loves me. There are many reasons why I started my letter with this sentence: I understood that if a person wants something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. I have always enjoyed gaining knowledge in subjects that I am not familiar with. My love for education and ambition for learning always made me hunger for self pride when people asked me certain question in subject that I know. I grew up in a middle class family in Atyrau - an area of the western Kazakhstan. My parents support my desire for higher education. During my studies from elementary to university, I have always been interested in many things. I was on top positions in elementary and primary school, which help me to continue to one of the best school in my country. After the end of the 7th grade, I entered the Nazarbayev Intellectual School. The fact that I graduated from this high school means that my parents did their ultimate best to help me gain a good education in order to have a chance at a better career.

As my high passion to learn many things, I put my interests into some area. I learned English in primary school, and then met Korean culture through K-pop and Korean drama. As far as I remember, my first encounter with South Korea was when I was 10 years old. The moment that changed my life forever. I have always been fascinated by Asia, however, everything changed, until I plunged into the world of Korean dramas and films. Then, fascinated culture, traditions, customs, places and attractions of South Korea. Going through the statistics, there are 24 letters in the Korean alphabet compared to 26 of English, which makes it quite easier to learn Hangul in a short period of time. Getting engaged with Korean culture is a good way to acquire the Korean language naturally. I have read Korean books and newspapers to enhance my reading skills. Also in the future, I will try to communicate with foreign students in Korean language as this will improve my Korean communication skills. At school I was socially active, I was headman for 9 years , participated in many projects and events, played a major role in the performances and organized anniversaries of our school. In my free time I like to play a volleyball. 4 years attended dance courses, engaged in folk and modern dance. Since childhood, played many roles in the theater, because of why everyone said that I have an acting ability. It helped me a lot because I found out that we were sent on vacation to Seoul at school because of our activity, unfortunately when 2 weeks left before the flight I got sick and could not go with my friends and visit my favorite country. However, after this situation I thought that I would still have a chance to learn Korean and study there. It has been about 10 years since I know Korean culture, but every time I wonder what Koreans are polite and educated, talented. I watched Korean dramas with subtitles, listened only Korean music. So here my way again led me to where I wanted. I realized that I needed to believe in myself despite the opinions of others or the difficulties. The possibility of choosing the KGSP scholarship will give me the chance to continue my advanced studies on high education institutes in Korea, being able to improve as a professional, in addition to strengthening the bonds of friendship between my country and South Korea.

In high school I began to develop my interest for numbers, programming and natural sciences, and these subjects were the ones that made me choose a Bachelor in Computer Science as career. Continuing my study to university, I decided to leave my city because of education condition and continued my study in Suleyman Demirel University, what is one of the best universities in Kazakhstan. We had a Digital Marketing course at the university, we were taught by such a wonderful teacher, after which I decided to develop in this area. Our final project was to promote any company we want so we have chosen a small business of my friend "Gift boxes" and we promoted it in different social networks SMM and SEO. I enjoyed the process so much and I realized that marketing is mine. Also university popular football club "SUNKAR" suggested that I lead their account on Instagram, and I gladly promoted this team. Although it was a small experience, I am very happy about it and because of this I became a member of a large family. I had the chance to work with the unique and large Chinese company in oil and gas industry "Sinooil" in their marketing department. It was not an easy path because not everything I have learn was possible to be put into practice, considering that all is in constant motion and change, and in part the knowledge also undergoes processes of change. Over my working hours I have realized that the area that I liked the most of the whole career was the organizational management of a company, standing out with the maximum qualifications in subjects like Human Resources Management, Market Research and Workshop in Entrepreneur and Innovation.

My motivation to apply to this program is generated by my desire to continue my studies having a master's degree in the field of my interest. I intend to continue my master study in universities of South Korea. Being one of the leading countries in technology development, South Korea has always impressed me with the development of the technology in the country, yet the education system that can walk in the same pace to the high development of the economy.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Jul 4, 2019   #2
Hi there!

In terms of technicalities, your writing is quite sufficient already. I would suggest only that you revise the introduction to create a more appropriate foundation for your writing. I've noticed that it's quite long in terms of explaining the basis of your application. Limit the descriptive portions and focus more on the general content.

Aside from Korean pop culture, what other aspects have driven you to apply? Having a more diverse portfolio will help you in the long-run to create more of a ratinoale as to why you have chosen this path.

It would also be beneficial if you can create more specific examples as to your short-term and long-term plans. What do you want to achieve from this? How will all of this benefit you in the long-run?

Best of luck in your application.

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