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My magnificent success in auto mechanics has inspired me to move to the next level


brunokris 1 / 3  
Dec 8, 2015   #1
Describe a figure or movement which has provided inspiration within your life

When I was a kid, I and my friends used to sit by the pathway watching and talking about cars (how they were made, the sleek body style, their wheels and lot more). As I grew older I began to pick interest in the world of automobile, which moved me to study auto mechanics as a trade subject in King's college where I excelled marvelously.

My magnificent success in auto mechanics has inspired me to move to the next level which is to acquire a B.Eng. in mechanical engineering.

Also, my mum has been figure that has inspired me as she has been the sole provider of my family since my dad lost his job years back.

Can anyone please help me construct a better essay on this topic between 300-400 words
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Dec 8, 2015   #2
Chris, I'm not so sure if you have reached the word count on this essay because if you don't,
I don't feel very confident with the content as well as the length of the essay.

However, I believe you can do more and write a better essay than this.
Let me help you out with your essay.

- Growing up, I always have my mother by my side, she is the sole provider of the family and my source of strength and inspiration.

- When I wasAs a kid,
- I and my friends and I used to sit

- Also, my mum has been figure that has inspired me as she has been the sole provider of my family since my dad lost his job years back. ( this phrase is not necessary as we have established this already in the beginning of the essay )

I hope my remarks helped!
OP brunokris 1 / 3  
Dec 8, 2015   #3
Growing up, I always have a mother by my side, she is the sole provider of my family and my source of strength and inspiration. It was not always like that, She was once an 'Oriaku' (an Igbo word for a wife that enjoys the husband's wealth). However, with the loss of my father's job, the financial tide turned for the family, pushing my father to the position the consumer while my mother became the provider

As a kid I remember when my mother woke up by 4 am daily to prepare I and my siblings for school she would bathe us all, prepare breakfast and put some food in our lunch box before she would then dress us for school, we would take off before she prepares for work...she works 24hours due to the nature of her work and whenever she is off duty she takes care of the home and those the house chores also, when pain and sickness made me cry she was always there for me. Though her job is stressful but, she has never given up rather she gets inspired to do more in order to make sure she keeps the family moving.

A woman being the breadwinner of a family is not an easy task though she has argued on several occasions that she should not be seen as the breadwinner but as a woman providing support for her family and that for the fact that a woman provides for her family she should never disregard her loving husband who has always been with her because of his predicament

This star lady and true icon of motherhood have been a figure which ha provided inspiration to me and she has also motivated me to carry on with the struggle to do better and to excel in whatever am doing
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Dec 8, 2015   #4
Chris this revision is absolutely better.
You see, you can actually make a very good essay, I'm just proud
that I'm part of this well written essay that you have.

Now, take a look at your last sentence;

This star lady and true icon of motherhood have been a figure which hathat provided me inspiration to me and she has also motivated me to carry on with the struggle tochallenges and do better and to excel in whatever am doingall my endeavor.

There you have it Chris, the last paragraph just need some reinforcement and you should be good to go.


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