Why I want to major in Economics-- Providing aid to those in need

This is for a local scholarship competition, I had to write about what major I was planning to pursue and why. The word limit was between 350 to 500 words. I'm pretty bad with essay, so be brutal.

Ever since 10th grade, I worked part-time as a business owner. I stuck with one of my favorite pastime hobbies, video editing; the idea of creating artwork through inimitable effects always fascinated me. Being a business owner wasn't all fun and games either, but I learned vital skills such as communication, time-management, and money management. I started my business with a slow, out-of-date computer from 1999 and Windows Movie Maker, generic video editing software. Optimizing just the slightest things made significant differences. Through an increase in clientele, I was able to increase productivity by buying software that would prove resourceful for video editing. I enjoyed the feeling of being in control of my company's net worth and knowing where its money was going. As my junior year was coming to a close, I began to ponder what major would be plausible to pursue. Then, it hit me! I enjoy understanding how my business's money circulates. Why not major in economics?

Economics like a business uses logic and analysis on a large scale for investments towards the future. Economics essentially was a major that consisted of understanding the "right choices" and the "wrong choices" towards everyday life. The right choices exemplified improvements that promoted a better life, while the wrong choice deterred people from their everyday life.

When deciding on the major, I had to consider what I could attain from a career in economics other than wealth. My main basis for video editing was to help those in need. In my case, I primarily helped high school athletes trying to play on the collegiate level by creating a highlight tape for coaches to view. For any athletic team, competition will always persist. Not every coach can travel miles to view every player's game. With my services coaches were able to observe the highlights of an athlete without having to physically travel across the country and players were able to display their skills faster.

I struggled to think of a transition for the last paragraph

In fact, when I began my business it held its share of dilemmas like most newly started businesses. Initially, I didn't know exactly what to use my profits towards. Preceding financial guidance would have proved beneficial in order to optimize my services. Even on a larger scale financial guidance can attest to its own value, such as during the U.S recession of 2008. Some stockholders were not as educated and financially informed about their investments. Therefore, when some investments took a turn for the worse, their assets ultimately fell alongside. Had there been someone to say, their investments were inadequate and should be recycled. They might not have lost their kids, house, car, or other possessions. Financial guidance in some cases is the tipping point between having a place to go home to and living homeless. With economics I can search the seas; ideally economics will provide me with the skills to foresee future wreckage.

This has too much emphasis of being a business owner. It's not about being an "owner." It's just being self-employed as a freelancer. If you say "owner" it sounds like you are trying to exaggerate.

Then, it hit me! I enjoy understanding how my business's money circulates. Why not major in economics?---I suggest saying this in a different way, too. No, you should go into greater detail about the depth of your contemplation. You need money to survive, so you should learn economics, and this will enable you to do anything you want to do as a freelancer. But I don't think you should say "Then it hit me" or "why not..."


I like this part.

My main basis for video editing was to help those in need. In my case, I primarily helped high school athletes trying to play on the collegiate level by creating a highlight tape for coaches to view.

Therefore, when some investments took a turn for the worse, their assets ultimately fell alongside. ---I think you should write this in a simpler way, too. I think I know what you are trying to say, but I'm not sure how to fix it.

Had there been someone to say, their investments were inadequate and should be recycled. ---Again here... I'm not sure how to fix this sentence.

Okay, how about citing a few books or articles. Have you studied Keynes? Show that you are already fascinated. Google this: freakonomics (it's a recent book)

:-)