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How I managed to understand this phrase: "Practice makes perfection" - 'challenge' scholarship essay


Nana Yaw Asante 3 / 5  
Oct 1, 2015   #1
Describe a time when you overcame one or more significant obstacles/challenges so that you were able to improve the lives of others in your community. How did you react to the challenge(s) and what did you learn from the experience? (100-word maximum)

From tender age, I have always wanted to acquire knowledge and skills in ICT. In my Junior High School days, I always follow my senior friend to the internet café to make research, chat with friends and access various information.

I carefully studied what he always does and asked questions pertaining to ICT. I certainly not understood what "Practice makes perfection" means until I started self-study on what my friend does and add more to it.

Fortunately, the practice paid-off and today I have attained great ICT skills that let me tutor people that needs help in ICT.

Please I need your feedbacks on this essay.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 1, 2015   #2
Nana, you are not really responding properly to the prompt. While you are talking about ICT, you don't really reflect an obstacle or challenge that you had to overcome in order to help your community. When the term community is used, it connotes a more personal relationship with people such as your friends, family, and relatives. Gaining skills in ICT and tutoring other people is something that anyone interested in the same thing can do. So you cannot use that as the response to this prompt. You need something more convincing and character describing.

For example, you can describe a situation when you were told you could not do something but then, through sheer practice, you got better at it over time, surprised those who said you could not do it, and then eventually, you got so good at it that you managed to help or teach someone else. A good example of this would be "riding a bike."

If you were being taught how to ride a bike even though you did not have a bike and did not have a good sense of balance to be able to stay on the bike then you have an obstacle to overcome. Finding a bicycle and improving your riding skills are those obstacles. Let's say your brother was trying to teach you using his bike then he gave up because he felt you could not learn how to do it. He told you that you cannot use his bike anymore.

You were determined to learn to ride. Your parents did not want to buy you a bike because you did not know how to ride. So you borrowed a bike from your friends and neighbors. You taught yourself. Then eventually, you got so good that your parents bought you a bike. A few months later, while riding your bike, you saw your younger neighbor on an old and rusty bike. He did not know how to ride it. You taught him how to ride. Now, he works as the grocery delivery boy because he can ride a bike already. Thus, you both embody the saying "practice makes perfect".

That is an example of a challenge or obstacle that you faced which ended up benefiting your community. Try to find a story in your background that is somewhat similar in slant. Look for a person you were able to help in the past because you learned to do something that person could not. By helping that person, you helped the community somehow. That is what the prompt is looking for as a response. Right now, your response is weak and not really interesting. You need to get more creative within 100 words :-)
OP Nana Yaw Asante 3 / 5  
Oct 3, 2015   #3
Thanks very much for the review vangiespen. I will write it again and post it here.

Thanks once again
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Oct 5, 2015   #4
- From tendera very young age,
- ..skills in ICT. ( it will help if you can elaborate what "ICT" means and why you chose this course)

- I carefully studied what he always does...
-I certainly did not understood...
- ...what "Practice makes perfection "
- means until I started to do a self-study...

Well, that's about it. My remarks are quiet few and minor but I hope they help enhance your essay and just like your attitude towards ICT, I hope you do the same with your writing skills, practice makes perfect, this is absolutely true.

Now, I highlighted on elaborating ICT and what it means because most of your readers especially here in EF will only have a general idea on what ICT means and elaborating it will truly help in gaining an understanding on your essay and what your trying to come up with.


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