Hi Guys, Here is my second essay for AAS 2022.
I am shifting my career from foreign relations manager to foreign trade consultant.
I would really appreciate if you review my essay. Thank in advance.
How important is this course to your future career?
Master of International Trade course will make up for some of the skills that I am lacking to take the next step in my career. The proposed study will help me to be recognized in the foreign trade industry, and will also have a significant impact on my short-term and long-term career goals.
My short-term career goal is to become a foreign trade consultant for my current organization. By becoming a foreign trade consultant, I will be able to help domestic small and medium enterprises (SMEs) export their products and services internationally. In recent years, the Mongolian government is paying special attention to increasing and supporting the export of non-mining value-added products, and to developing specialized export consulting service, which leads to high amount of export consulting agencies and foreign trade specialists needed. This opportunity is empowering the growth of foreign trade consultants career in Mongolia and the consulting service industry. This perfectly aligns with my career and personal goal. With my experience gained as a foreign relations manager combined with knowledge and skills that I would gain through the master's program, I am confident that I will contribute to the growth of my current organizations as well as the development of Mongolian export.
In the long run, I will set up my own foreign trade consulting company with an aim to help local SMEs enter into foreign markets. In particular, I will be supporting the local businesses with natural and organic products, and make my contribution to enable them become a globally recognized brand. The connections with future leaders from all around the world through Australia Awards Scholarship, and with peers who came to Australia with purpose of specializing in international trade, that I would develop during this master's studies, will open up new opportunities for business cooperation, and will help achieve this goal.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,692 3498
Change the first paragraph to reflect that you will be changing your career path from foreign relations manager to foreign trade consultant. Indicate a connection between the two. Reflect on how your previous studies have prepared you for the change in career path prior to explaining why you believe that this career change is a necessary professional growth path you must undertake. It is important to set the balance between the past and current career interests in this case as the previous course must prove to be supportive of the change in career path. The career progression will help identify the contribution of the new studies to your new career path. An explanation of how you have maxed out your potential in the current field, thus requiring the career adjustment will also help set the tone for the contribution these studies will be making to your career.
@Holt thanks for your valuable comment.
As you might know, Australia Awards Scholarship consists of the following 4 essays. Each has 2000 character limit.
1) Why did you choose the proposed course and institution?
2) How will the proposed study contribute to your career?
3) How have you contributed to solving a challenge and to implementing change or reform?
4) Please give up three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connections you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional; and list any possible constraints you think may prevent you from achieving these tasks:
In the essay 1 (Why did you choose the proposed course and institution?), which is the very first essay that will provide reader with the understanding of who I am and what I want, I already mentioned about my career change as follows:
"Serving as a bridge to bring Mongolians to the global market is what I am aiming for. This aim led me to work as a foreign relations manager at an education consulting agency. During the past three years, I contributed to connect many Mongolians to world recognized institutions. Now, I want to take the next step in my career and make my contribution to help local businesses enter export markets. By pursuing the Master of International Trade, I will achieve this goal."
I didn't want to repeat the idea that is already mentioned in other essays.
Should I need to write about my career change in this essay 2 (How will Master of International Trade course contribute to my career)?
Or writing about my career change in the essay 1 is wrong?
I have been confused where to mention my career change (essay 1 OR essay 2).