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Math and history. Each of these subjects happen to be my favorite.


tayleez 1 / -  
Nov 13, 2015   #1
Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

Can I have some feedback on what I have written so far? Here is what I have:

The subjects I have excelled in the most are math and history. Each of these subjects happen to be my favorite, which I think contributes to how much I have succeeded in them. I work hard and pay close attention to what I am being taught, and I make sure that I take the knowledge I have learned and apply it to my assignment that I have been given. My teachers that I have also have contributed to the success I have had in these subjects. Whenever I needed help with anything they would do so and that helped immensely. I choose to ask questions rather than sit quiet and struggle. Talking specifically in math I always thought that I could only excel in math only if the lesson were being taught, but my 11th grade Algebra II teacher, Mr. Zimmerman taught me that I am more than capable of teaching myself how to do the specific work that I am assigned. This helped me feel more accomplished in my work and what I want to excel in.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Nov 13, 2015   #2
Hi Taylor, I'd like to share my insights on your essay.

- The subjects I have excelled in the most are mathematics and history.
- Each of these subjects happen to be my favorite, which I thinkI believe they have contributed
- to how much I have succeeded in themmy success .
- and apply it to mythe assignment that I have been given.
- My teachers that I have also have contributed to the success I have had in these subjects.are great contributors on my success in this subjects.

- Whenever I needed help with anything they would do so and that helped me immensely.
- Talking specifically inabout mathematics,
- I always thought that I could only excel in math only if the lesson were being taught, but my 11th grade Algebra II teacher, Mr. Zimmerman

- taught me that I am more than capable of teaching myself and how to do the specific work that I am assigned.
- This helped me feel more accomplished in my work and what I want to excel infield I want to pursue in the future .

Taylor, as you can see there's quiet a lot of corrections that needs to be addressed in your essay, I hope you follow through and focus in sentence construction and overall grammar.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Nov 14, 2015   #3
Hi Taylor, your work needs more organize. I mean it is lack of appropriate appearance so thus, unintentionally, can broke reader's interest to read your whole work. Please add a space between your paragraph with each of them providing an answer of each question that the prompt requires.

Looking backward to your prompt

Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

In your first paragraph after you say Mathematics and History to be your excel subject, please support your claim on why you excel on them much. Tell us what kind of empirical events or fact that makes them special to you. Moreover, pay attention also about what prompt says. It requires you to state what factors attribute ..., thus just providing Mr.Zimmerman contribution in following paragraph does not quite enough, you should add more, this becomes important, otherwise you just intend to get mediocre mark.

Hopefully it helps :)
Ra_fhli 22 / 17 8  
Nov 15, 2015   #4
Hai Taylezz. apparently you have to pay attention with your organization idea. Furthermore, I also found some unimportant words you should reconsider to put it so as to make your reader flow to read your writing. Here my suggestion:

The subjects I have excelled in the mostare mathematic and history . Each of these subjects happen to be in which those are my favoUrite subjects. which since I think BOTH WILL contributesto how much I have succeeded in them . I AM HARD WORKER work hard and MORE pay close attention to what I am being taught, and Also I HAVE TO make sure that I take the WHAT knowledge I have learned and apply it to my assignment that I have been given.


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