Dear all, I'm planning to apply for the Global Korea Scholarship next year and would appreciate it if you can help critique my study and future plan.
Thanks
o Goal of study, title or subject of research, and detailed study plan
o Future plan in Korea or another country after study in Korea
Goal of study & Study Plan
Advancing my career through enrolling for a Masters Programme in Mechanical Engineering in Korea is one thing I have earnestly craved for before and after my undergraduate programme. I am profoundly convinced that it is pivotal to the development and refining of the necessary skills I need in order to effectively contribute valuable knowledge that would further catalyze advancements in the field of Engineering in the world at large. Since Engineering also engages and focuses on research to build knowledge, facilitate learning and above all, find solutions to Engineering related problems, it is therefore profitable to embark on this current quest vehemently.
Furthermore, my preference for a Korean university is due to her rich research based curriculum and present world-class status in research development in the field of Engineering. It is an indisputable fact that in Korea, research in the field of Engineering is currently second to none. Remarkably, the economic growth which has been predicted to accelerate tremendously as a result of its increasing desire for technological advancement supported through funds, scholarships and others has created a conducive environment fit for students and young researchers like me in the field of Mechanical Engineering. These facts alone significantly serve as a huge source of motivation for me because I have a keen interest for research and I am inquisitive to learn new things.
As a student of Mechanical Engineering in a Korean university, I will provide research papers for publications which I am fully capable of doing. My research interests are namely: composite material, lightweight parts for vehicles and computational fluid dynamics. Thus, I will undertake and produce theses on composite materials in graduate school exploring its usefulness in many areas knowing how germane industries such as aerospace, automotive, marine, biomedical, construction and many others value excellent mechanical, chemical and physical properties in order to design more effective components. Producing a lightweight hybrid composite material that can be used by the aforementioned industries for the production of various components.
According to the Global Korea Scholarship (GKS) programme structure, I am meant to take a Korean language course for a year to enable me communicate well with others and afterwards, start off my Masters Programme. I will review many literatures, compare various materials in order to select individual materials having the best thermal conductivity, tensile strength, and electrical conductivity etc., and conclude on the analysis to be performed. Once the proposal is granted, I will carry out the experiment in the laboratory by researching for a way to combine the materials to produce a lightweight composite material for the industry.
In the context of Nigeria, there are lots of raw materials resources such as aluminum, coal, silica sand, clay, granite, limestone and many others unexplored as a result of lack of enough technical know-how and the ignorance of their uses such as in producing composite materials that can help change the nature and course of production. Hence, I will use the research knowledge gained in Korea to ensure there is a proper and adequate exploration of our raw materials in order to improve the quality of materials used in manufacturing industries.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The Goal of Study and Study Plan all relate to one thing. What will your masters thesis topic be about? The goal of your study is to learn new information or additional information regarding a specific area of your current profession. I believe your focus is on Mechanical Engineering in relation to automotive development right? So your Goal of Study should be to.... what? Develop a Nigerian made car that will be specific for Nigerian roads? What sort of motor would that be? How would be perform? What are the specs you have to develop to create the first Nigerian made car? Sure you have a background in automotive engineering because of your line of work. So where do you go from there? What is your study goal that will make your academic goal stand out? I gave you an example earlier in this paragraph, so develop an idea that is similar to that presentation.
As for the study plan, focus on the method by which you plan to develop your masters thesis. What sort of exposure will you need? An internship at Hyundai? A motor training program at Kia? How does the Korean automotive industry provide you with an opportunity to have a hands on education that will have a direct relationship with your masters thesis?
Consider that you will have to work in Korea after you complete your masters course. Where do you go from there? Your plans after study should cover the first 2 years after your graduation, then the next 2 years after you return to your home country. For the Korea plans, focus on getting a job at one of their automotive companies. Discuss how you will get the job and what you hope to contribute to the Korean automotive technology. Then, after 2 years, what will you do in Nigeria that will show how you will use what you learned in Korea to improve the car industry in Nigeria. Additionally, how will you continue to promote the GKS program in Nigeria upon your return.
You are not approaching the essay from a masters degree point of view. You sound too much like a high school student who has no idea what the scholarship requires of its applicants. With this kind of essay, I sincerely doubt you will be considered a serious candidate by the reviewer. Based upon your personal statement and this essay, you will not be a viable candidate. You will not make it to the next round of considerations unless you fix the content of both the essays you need to submit.
