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Mechatronics Engineering - letter of intent for Master's Degree - Turkish scholarship

Mona_Saleh 2 / 3 1  
Feb 18, 2019   #1
This my letter of intent for the Turkish scholarship, I know it's too long that'w why I need your help to cut down some information that's irrelevant to what's required

explain following details: your academic and social experiences relating the field you want to take an education, your reasons for choosing Turkey for study and the importance of your future plans for your education and scholarship in Turkey. You can write the letter of intent in the language you can express yourself.

(up to 3000 letter)

Note: I didn't talk about a specific university, because I'm allowed to choose up to 12 universities , although there's 2 universities in particular I'm really interested in

Letter of intent

Despite the fact that my major was Electrical Power and Machine, I only enjoyed the courses related to control and electronics, which influenced my senior year project that focused on designing an electronic based elevator control system, through which I've been exposed to PCB design, mechanical components and control systems. But control and electronics weren't the only field for which I've developed sincere fondness. After graduation, I spent 6 month training with Eng. Farouk Barakat, an advisor in the Academy of Scientific Research, who joined our faculty as a researcher. My training led me to explore more about microcontrollers, sensors and programming.

But training alone is not enough to gain practical experience, so I applied for a 3-month internship as a shift engineer at Le Méridien Cairo Airport Hotel. There, I plunged myself into learning all systems maintained by engineering department like air-circulating, cooling, heating, HVAC, pumps, plumbing, hydraulic, and lighting systems. Also I got to work with the engineers and the technicians during the equipment and machines maintenance.

Although this experience was really beneficial to me but it exposed my knowledge gaps and motivated me to pursue an advanced degree to address my knowledge gaps. Four month later, I granted a scholarship at Information Technology Institute (ITI) to have a diploma degree in Mechatronic Engineering, which opened up doors of knowledge that I did not know, through extensive coursework such as programming languages, machine design, modelling of mechatronic systems , embedded systems, robotics and artificial intelligence and implementation of real projects such as signature recognition with neural networks, pick up and place robotic arm with Matlab and real time image matching with LabVIEW.

By the end of the scholarship, I worked as a research & development engineer at Bedo Innovating Education, which designs education equipment to engineering and vocational education. Being a part of R&D team has provided me with invaluable experience through developing the trainer's design, functions, interface, wiring, components and also manufacture the trainer which is carried out by the technicians under my supervision. Because of my work, I began to discover a new interest in machine leaning which led me to currently enroll into Udacity machine learning nanodegree program as a part of Next Technology Leaders (NTL) Initiative.

Both of my interests and experiences, share a defining characteristic which is my fascination with mechatronic field and I seek to further delve into that field through pursuing a master's degree, but what encouraged me the most was the problems I encountered at Bedo factory such as disruption in manufacturing, errors of implementation, work injuries and time delay. Problems like these in Bedo and other Egyptian factories exits because they lack the concept of automated systems which can eliminate errors, reduce variability and to cut manufacturing costs. Modernizing factories with advanced technology and automation, is one of my future plans that I dream of applying here in Egypt. But enabling these technologies in environments that have not been suitable for automation up to now and overcome culture challenges in a developing country like Egypt, requires a deep understanding of robotics, artificial intelligence and advanced automation and despite my diploma degree and work experience, I still lack the knowledge to create complicated machines. That's why I need to study abroad to provide me with the necessary knowledge.

However studying abroad is more than just attending a university in a foreign country, it also a matter of where you want to live specially for a girl. That's why I chose Turkey because of the convergence of cultures, religions and lifestyles with what we have in Egypt, which will it make easier for me to fit in without feeling alienated. I Also remember while I was searching for universities, I came across an article on the education in turkey and I was also amazed by the level of education there, the presence of some of its universities on the ranking of the top 500 universities in the world and the increased interest in scientific research. Also the existing of Akin Robotics, the first humanoid robotics factory in the country and one of the first in the world to begin mass production, will help a lot in my research as I can a case study to perform here. I believe courses taught in Turkish universities like Artificial Neural Networks, Computer Aided System, Autonomous Robot and Robot Vision will provide me an opportunity to further move from the operational understanding of Mechatronic systems to promote the applicability of robotics and automation in industry.

Holt - / 7,546 2001  
Feb 19, 2019   #2
Mona, the problem with your essay is the direction that you have used for the discussion. If you revise the essay to open with an explanation of your intention for graduate studies rather than a backgrounder on your education, you will be able to shorten the essay presentation. That is because you will no longer need to present such a long winded explanation regarding the development of your interest, the classes you took, change in career path, and other information. Rather, from the moment that you present your intention / motivation for studies, you will only be required to present relevant educational undertakings and accomplishments. The way I see it, your essay can be edited as follows:

the problems I encountered at Bedo factory ... cut manufacturing costs.

Academic Background:
Discuss only relevant courses.

Social Experiences:
... I spent 6 month training ... sensors and programming. (expand the discussion)

Future Plans:
Modernizing factories ... applying here in Egypt.

Academic Goal:
... enabling these technologies ...the necessary knowledge.

Why Turkey:
However studying abroad ... and automation in industry.

If you limit your discussion to an expansion of the topics I outlined above, you should bring down the word count and also stick to the intention / motivation of your application bu highlighting only relevant discussion points.
OP Mona_Saleh 2 / 3 1  
Feb 19, 2019   #3
@ Holt thanks for the review , I'm going to work on that
I just have one question how can I link between these two
the problems I encountered at Bedo factory ... cut manufacturing costs.

Academic Background:
Discuss only relevant courses.

discussing my motivation and move that into talking about my Academic Background
Holt - / 7,546 2001  
Feb 19, 2019   #4
Consider the problems that you are facing within your profession. Then recall what courses you took in college that helped you deal with the situation or helped you to better understand the problem. Then discuss the extent by which your undergraduate education has allowed you to perform within the expectations of your job. Follow through with a presentation of relevant subjects you studied. Then explain the shortcomings of that education as it motivated you to consider the importance of higher academic education.

For every problem, present a relevant course you completed. For every problem you failed to handle, explain why your academic subjects fell short. Something along the lines of:

When faced with XXX situation, I was able to call upon my studies in XXX to solve the situation. Further training in XXX allowed me to continue to deal with the problems as it arose because of the skills I developed in XXX However, by the time I exhausted my education to the point of utilizing my learning in XXX course, I felt my undergraduate education had peaked and was no longer sufficient for my career needs.

This is a sample of how you can integrate the motivation and academic learning. You have to come up with your own way to discuss it though. The sample should help.

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