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"A medium to inspire others to take the initiative" - Local Scholarship Leadership Essay


inc1 1 / -  
Jan 26, 2019   #1
Hey guys, I just wanted to know if my experience is viable as a "leadership" example. This for a local scholarship. Any help is greatly appreciated!

Prompt:

Choose ONE of the quotes below and submit a typed/word-processed essay

(500 words)
discussing how the quote relates to a specific situation or event from your own experience. If needed, explain how you would
modify the quote to better fit what you learned from the experience. Be sure to use specific examples in your essay.


"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader." John Quincy
Adams
"The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet." Theodore M.
Hesburgh

The "Gym Movement" had started as a joke between my friends and I, a temporary commitment to go to the gym with the superficial goal of looking good in front of others. Convincing myself and others to seriously consider fitness was difficult. Friends laughed at the idea of working out as being solely for looking attractive. My family scoffed at my endeavor, deeming it as not worthwhile. Most of all, I was still finding my own confidence through the gym.

Although the idea of showing off muscles once drove me to work out, I learned that the gym was a tool not just for gaining muscle, but self-confidence, and a metaphor for resilience. I was working to better myself physically and mentally for my own sake, not others'. Fueled by this outlook, I blossomed from an insecure, timid teen into a self-assured and diligent individual, shaped by years of training.

Surprised by my transformation, my peers were inspired to take on their own fitness journeys. Soon I had classmates coming to me for fitness advice. From prescribing things as simple as recommended foods to complex, fully-outlined training programs, I was thrilled to be a leader of the growing "Gym Movement".

Wanting to involve myself further in this movement, I started offering to train others for free. In these hour-long sessions, I served as a relentless yet motivating trainer. I would task trainees with tough workouts not to show how weak they were, but to help them discover their inner strength and lend them my own in the process. As a trainer, I did not exist to beat them down; instead I helped them grow stronger.

The movement had extended even beyond my school, into my community. I helped my uncle recover from a heart attack through cardiovascular training and adjustment to cleaner habits. After a few months of a changed lifestyle, he has newfound energy to walk and play at the beach with his toddler son. Galvanized by my uncle's injury, I was also able to motivate my whole family to pursue healthier lifestyles. In my neighborhood, I had adults and elderly ask me in awe how I had such drive to stay active. The next day, I would greet them in our neighborhood gym, moved to see that they were willing to try exercising to rediscover vigor in life. Convincing others that they can improve themselves, I have inspired many to reach their greatest potential.

John Quincy Adams once defined leadership as having the ability to "inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more". I believe that this saying has resonated fully with my "Gym Movement"; I never would have thought that my simple hobby of weightlifting would transform into a profound and motivating influence on my community. What initially seemed to be a grueling obligation to look fit has become part of my lifestyle and a medium to inspire others to take the initiative, whether in terms of health or finding their self-confidence.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Jan 27, 2019   #2
Christopher, I believe that the essay requires more of a backgrounder and insight as to why and how you pushed yourself to become the leader of the gym movement. An explanation of how your friends and peers viewed exercised and gym related activities while you were a profound believer of its benefits would help to offer a comparison discussion that laid out the foundation for the movement. After that, knowing that they would be hard to convince could be the part that refers to "learn more, do more, and become more, " Describe how you not only changed yourself, but also had to learn more about body building and fitness to be able to better entice them to try out the activity. It is only after this aspect of the explanation that you can launch into the paragraph that indicates; "Wanting to involve myself further in this movement, I started offering to train others for free. ..." You have to clarify if you became a licensed fitness trainer or, if you were merely inspiring them in an unofficial capacity. While both are leadership roles. The prior carries more weight by proving your desire to become a leader in this field through study, training, and licensing. This would definitely lead to your friends becoming more impressed with the results of your fitness training. Overall, the essay is good and directly relates to the quote you chose. You just need to explain things further to make it clearer to the reviewer.


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