Please help me with this one. I'm not sure whether this one is good or not.. It is said that i should write about 300 words, is it okay for me to write 350 words like this one below? If not, please help me to omit some words :)) And i got a problem with expressing[/b] my financial needs too , is it good enough? Thank you so much for you help :)
[b]How well do you intend to perform academically as an *** scholarship recipient?
I am a hard-working student with firm determination. Once I set a goal, I do my best to achieve it. I love challenges. I never do something halfway; I manage to do it until the finish line. I am a fast-learner. I absorbed everything very fast. Time is a very vital aspect for me. Ideas spark in a second. I am eager to try something new and ready to take the risks. One thing I value a lot is my "I can do" mindset. Whenever I face a problem, I said to myself that I can do it, because I believe; we are what we think. With this "I can do" mindset, I manage to be determined, open-minded, and ambitious person who always accomplish high achievements. All my life, I have always been ranked the top three in school.
Since I discovered it, attending *** has been my fondest dream. And when I heard about the scholarship, it added more flame to my burning desire. I realize my family economic condition. My family is not rich nor poor, an average family who lives in a developing country. I know it will be a big burden for my parents if I continue my education in ***. But I believe this situation can not tie me down. Contradictory, it encourages me to work even harder than others. It's like if I used to eat with an ordinary spoon then someone offered me a silver spoon. Thus, I will run as fast as I could to get it than the other people who always use it in their lifetime.
I'm aware that getting this scholarship is not easy and took many sacrifices. This gold opportunity that I embraced with full of struggle will not be abandoned just like that. I will definitely give my best performance in ***. I will preserve my good achievements. I do not want to miss a single opportunity there, like joining competitions, volunteering in social activities, and being part of organizations. I believe this is a gateway to my dream and I will prove to everyone that I deserve this scholarship.
Hi Cindy,
This is a good first draft and needs vetting. Apart from the grammatical mistakes, the essay needs to be more precise and specific. It would be good to talk about the desired course you plan to take up and how it would help you in future, why you are interested in this particular course/university. Also, while explaining your plans you should express your ideas like when you mention that, "Once I set a goal, I do my best to achieve it. I love challenges. I never do something halfway; I manage to do it until the finish line" it would do you good if you share an example from your past experiences of how you have demonstrated these qualities.
can someone please help me to correct the grammatical mistake ? Thanks... :))
Hi Ciiins,
I can give you some tips by that you can avoid grammatical mistakes if you use Ms Word or Ms outlook etc to type anything you can go right click and check synonyms by that you can correct word or sentence.
Thanks,
Jose Elbert.
"...It's like if I used to eat with an ordinary spoon then someone offered me a silver spoon. Thus, I will run as fast as I could to get it than the other people who always use it in their lifetime."
I think this sentences is quite awkward.... Is there any good sentences to replace this one? Thanks
