Hi, could someone please check my motivation letter? Thank you in advance!
the maritime industry is my major interest
Undoubtedly, The European Union is not only the world's director of acknowledged place in maritime business, but they are also the master innovation and modern technology in the maritime industry which is my major interest for perusing a Master's degree study in abroad. I have discovered the joint Master's degree program in Maritime Operation between ABC University and DEF University. After researching the program's information, I am extremely impressed that they offer the study courses for operational and managerial knowledge in the maritime industry that I have always wanted to accomplish in the field.
I earned a Bachelor degree in Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering from GHI University, and I usually ranked among the first-place students in my class. After graduating I worked for almost seven years in Technical Service Engineer and Naval Architecture. During this time my work in several companies focused on finding creative solutions that involved starting with ships' drawings, calculating strength, selecting materials, determining ship hydrostatics and stability, planning the process of production and working with sandwich structures and fibreglass materials. I also had good experience with managing manpower and schedules, as well as optimizing work in relation to customer requirements. This employment offered me constant stimulation to improve my work and acquire more knowledge. However, much as I delight in the details of planning and engineering described above, I still need to further develop the managerial skills which are so important to the professional goals which I have.
My goal is to develop proficient leadership and management responsibility in a wide range of maritime activities, and I feel that this program is well-equipped to further my professional growth. Three courses particularly interest me: Philosophy of Science (Research Design and Methods), Scientific Approach to Complex Problems and Quality and Risk Management. I am hoping that these and other courses will help me toward a bright future and that my knowledge and professional experience meet your requirements for acceptance into the program. For those reasons, I am interested in applying for the master degree program in maritime operation ABC University in autumn semester 2018.
In conclusion, I am confident that enrolling in this program will supplement my current skills in science and technology with vital knowledge about management skills, and I trust that my talents will prove to be a credit to your school. If I can answer any further questions please let me know.
Thank you for giving this application your serious attention. I look forward to a positive reply from you.
Yours sincerely,
CTHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 CHUMPON, a motivation letter is an essay that explains your reasons for wishing to enroll in a specific masters degree course at a particular university. The required information for a motivation letter is as follows:
1. Your current job title and description.
2. Your perceived challenges on the job
3. An explanation of how these challenges led you to enroll in a masters course.
5. An explanation of how your university choices were selected in relation to your motivation for studies.
As you can see, you have some misplaced information in your current presentation. You created a mix of a motivational letter and a statement of purpose. You have to correct that error in your revised essay. Focus on creating a 5 paragraph essay that solely discusses the clear motivations that you have for enrolling in the course you have chosen at these two universities. Make sure to differentiate your motivation for choosing each learning institurion so that your motivational letter will cover all the required motivational reasons.
