Hi @Holt and other reviewers. Kindly give me your advice for my studying in the UK essay as one of the requirement to apply for Chevening Scholarships. Thank you.
STUDYING IN THE UK
Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future. Please enter new information and examples here and not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)
The rapid rate of industrial growth in [city name] has caused several problems, especially for settlements that are located close to the industry. Air pollution due to emissions released by flue-gas stack, seawater pollution due to discharge of factory wastewater into the sea, the strong smell of ammonia, solid waste management problems is a few examples of environmental problems experienced by buffer zone community.
Hence, professional environmentalists are being asked to create sustainable community development programs as a form of corporate social responsibility. This is both conceptually and technically difficult to achieve and requires expertise and skills that are in critically short supply in Indonesia specifically [city name] as a remote area surrounded by the sea. This has motivated me to pursue a Master's degree in Environment and Development. Combining my work experience in environment and CSR along with my academic background in Urban Planning with a specialisation in Natural-Resources and Environmental Management make my case to switch careers.
Ironically, marine pollution is common things occur in [city name], for instance, environmental degradation in shores, decreased number of fish population and coral bleaching. Upon completion of MSc Environment, Politics and Society in UCL, I will have a critical understanding of social, economic, cultural and political processes to tackle these environmental issues. Next, by learning Marine Conservation, I will have an understanding of the impacts of climate change and human activity on the marine environment so I can define the tools required to maximising sustainable social and economic benefits from their marine environment through sustainable management approach.
As an Environmentalist, I experience that Indonesia still dealt with policy and planning issues that led to environmental challenges. Achieving MSc in Environment and Development in University of Edinburgh will be a robust foundation for me, to gain expertise and critically evaluate the multiple dimensions of the inter-relationship between development and environment. Moreover, as this course covers a broad spectrum of environmental assessment including survey and monitoring, I will be prepared to overcome my company's main problem which the lack of evaluating the report of community development programs that have been conducted.
From my three-year experience working in petrochemical company, I understand that a targeted yet sustainable becomes essential in every Community-Development program. By having an MSc in Environment and Development from University of Leeds, I will have the skills and knowledge required to further develop my company Community-Development programs to resolve strategic issues that occur in buffer zone area. By having a strong foundation in Business, Environment and Sustainability, this course will broaden my knowledge of strategies for achieving and implementing environmentally sustainable business practices to reduce business negative impact on the environment.
All three courses provide international fieldwork providing networking and practical experience. As an Environmentalist with hands-on experience in environmental management and Community-Development, I want to develop skills in other environmental principles and development planning and these three courses will wide my perspectives and give me bases to cooperate with related stakeholders in challenging situations to contribute for environmental sustainability in Indonesia.I understand that a targeted yet sustainable becomes ... I think you missed a noun in the bold phrase here.
will wide my perspectives : wide is an adjective or a noun, this should be widen here
Overall, I think it is a nice and comprehensive essay. Well done.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 You have not explained how your undergraduate studies have prepared you to take on more challenging classes as an international masters degree student. The essay itself does not tell the reader how you plan to apply the information you will have learned in an actual setting. Referring to what you will learn, without clearly indicating the importance of each course to your current profession does not help your essay. You have to balance the essay, explain how the past connects with the present and, your future. Right now, your essay does not inform the reviewer based on the educational justifications and professional plans that relate to your masters course choices.
