One thing that I am not quite sure is if I should elaborate less about how the programme will help me achieve my goals/how does my proposed study relate to a particular development challenge and elaborate more about my background that makes me a suitable candidate. I really appreciate any feedback or comments regarding my essay. Thank you so much!:)
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scholarship MOTIVATION LETTER
Dear Administrative Comittee,
Much like how the hot inner core of Earth is essential to life, the burning ambition in the inner selves of humans keeps us thriving. In my case, I long for the golden opportunity of pursuing the BSc Earth Sciences program under Stipendium Hungaricum.
As a daughter of Peninsular Malaysia, I have almost been used to floods and landslides since there are few rivers, unlike in East Malaysia. One incident that left an impact on me was a landslide that I witnessed just a few miles away while I was on the way to Cameron Highlands in May 2015 for a trip. My home is a few miles away from (XXX), where landslides frequently happen to the point that I have lost count. Recently, the worst national flood affected both the West and East coast of Peninsular Malaysia.
My goal is to understand ways to reduce the fatalities caused by these occurrences. Based on my findings, the same program at the University of Debrecen and the University of Pecs allow specialization in Geology and Meteorology. Effective planning in urban development projects will help lower rates of landslides. Both universities teach subtopics for this, such as environmental geology, stratigraphy, soil geography and remote sensing. The speciality of the University of Debrecen to me is European Studies offered in their program. The subject will be of great use to me if I work in any part of Europe before I settle in Malaysia. As for the University of Pecs, I am intrigued to learn about their flash flood risk assessment map and forecaster.
With the geoinformatics training in these Hungarian universities, I will learn better to apply this skill that is relevant in the era of rapid technological advancements. After reading some information about some branches of Earth Sciences, I discovered that Hungary is more well established in Stratigraphy and Palaeontology when compared to Malaysia. These two branches are significant in the involvement of the oil and gas sector. I truly wish for this scholarship as both universities in my application provide a pathway to weeks of internship at the end of the bachelor's degree program. Hence, I am also ensured that I will have sufficient skills when I return to work in my home country.
One could not venture into something without having experience. I have had the opportunity to hold some leadership roles in school, like prefect of the academic bureau and the Red Crescent Society president. These positions certainly polished me as an individual by learning to balance academics and extracurricular activities. Despite the COVID-19 pandemic emerging since 2020, I stayed active by volunteering besides participating in a dance program and online seminars related to environmental matters. Most notably, my recent volunteering experience for the national flood victims motivated me even more to win this scholarship. I believe the main factor that makes me a suitable candidate is my experience in a science innovation project that my team and I started from scratch. Although not directly related to Earth Sciences, the project gave me an incredible experience and insight into fieldwork, which is important in the BSc Earth Sciences program.
Aside from cultural richness as the reason Hungary is my dream study destination, the warm welcome towards international students also attracts me. Due to the multinational and multicultural environment in the universities, I expect to gain networking skills from my studies. There are also more geoparks in Hungary than Malaysia, which I intend to visit. While studying in a foreign country, the biggest challenge would be adjusting to life as a Muslim. Hungary is the best place to study because of its efficient student support system.
In a world of gemstones and rocks, I am neither but both. Not too excellent, not too ordinary. I firmly believe Hungary will help me transition into the best jewel-like version of myself.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The first paragraph is only flowerly language that does not move your application along with useful information. It is a creative introduction, but unnecessary for the purpose of the motivation letter. Instead, move up the second paragraph and polish it to the point where it can actually showcase your life experience as the motivating factor / influential event that led to your interest in the undergraduate course.
The subject will be of great use to me if I work in any part of Europe before I settle in Malaysia.
Do not imply that you want to work in Europe, using the scholarship as a launching platform. That will not be very well accepted by the people reading the motivation letter as you seem to have an alternative focus for your application that is not supported by the scholarship. Instead, discuss how the studies will be beneficial to your country once you return to work for your geological department / agency.
You seem to be missing a discussion point. Where is the global application of your studies that relate to a particular development challenge or need at the global, national, and/or local level? What particular international weather disturbance do you hope to solve in relation to a developmental challenge? Think along the lines of La Nina and its accompanying weather patterns / disturbances that have an international effect. La Nino may also be referenced since it relates to the spiking heat levels every summer that costs lives and loss of crops due to drought. While La Nina loses crops due to severe flooding. Think along these lines.
