Hello , I would highly appreciate if you could possibly take a look at the content of my essay along with the grammar .
I have two ultimate goals for my career , my first , short term goal ,is to reach my dream position as a business development manager at my current pharmaceutical company, my second , long term goal , is to become a leading director in the Jordan Food and Drug Administration (JFDA) . Determined to succeed in accomplishing my goals , I have set clear plans over the next 16 years .
Upon finalizing my postgraduate degree in October /2017 I will continue working at the regulatory affairs department at a senior level for about two years , helping me to further build on my previous experience , obtaining the essential knowledge of various regulations guidelines for several markets will help me in moving to the market access department at a supervisor level .
I intend to work in the market access department for about three years , during which I will be exposed to market needs , in addition I will be working with global licensers, therefore with all the experience I will gain over the period of 5 years after my Masters graduation it will eventually lead to achieve my first career goal in making a smooth transition into business development managerial position , In which I will help my company expanding its business by identifying new business opportunities such as new markets , products .
In ten years , I aim to go back to University for my Ph.D in Pharmacoecnomics while still working for in my job as a business development manager . Earning my Ph.D over the period of 6 years will equip me with the needed knowledge in the field of health economy , which along with my rich experience in pharmaceutical companies will enable me to achieve my second goal. Occupying a directory position at the JFDA implementing the essential economic principles with the aim of providing the best healthcare services within the available resources, it's well as enhancing the JFDA relationship with other world wide agencies such as the department of health in the UK .
Both of my chosen career goals fall under the umbrella of UK priorities for Jordan represented by business development and economics . Eventually I see myself as a successful contributor the pharmaceutical industry which is a fundamental sector in our national economy , in my role as a business development manager at a leading pharmaceutical company and later on as a JFDA director , I aspire to provide people in Jordan and across the globe with high quality yet affordable medicines.
Hanan, I hope my remarks to enhance your essay is not too late and will help you one way or the other.
my first ,my short term goal,
is to reach my dream position
my second ,my long term goal ,
- I intend to work in the market access department for
about three years ,
- during which I will be exposed to market
- in addition I will be working with global
licensers( what exactly do yo want to imply in this phrase ) ,
for in my job as a business development manager .
Both of myMy chosen career goals
- fall under the
umbrella of UK priorities for
- high quality yet affordable medicine
Hanan, I can't say that your essay is strong but it's not weak either, it kind of play in the middle, I hope your revised one if far better and mind your punctuation mark spacing, you don't have to put a space between a comma and a word, there's no sense of highlighting them because they are meant to put a stress on your sentences and not a highlight.