This is just my rough draft. Any suggestions?
Describe the environment you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and how this environment has affected or influenced your plans for the future. (400 words)
My entire life I have grown up in a small town where everybody knows everybody else. Most of my family lives in this same town and have lived there for many generations. My class is made up of about 120 people, most of whom I know. This has impacted me greatly by providing me with a second family. I have gone to school with basically the same people for twelve years now and we know each other well. I feel like I belong no matter where I go in Birch Run because I always know someone there. During my time at Birch Run High School I have been on the Varsity Cheer Team for four years. This too has provided me with a second family; at times I feel like I spend more time with my teammates than with my real family. We laugh together, cry together, and succeed together. Being a cheerleader has taught me that if I want something, I must work to get it; not everything in life will be handed to me. During competitive season I realized that there will always be somebody out there that is better than me, but if I work hard enough I will be able to do what they do. It also allowed me to stay involved in what was going on in school and to participate in school activities. The environment I have been in has greatly impacted my future plans. Growing up in such a small town has sheltered me. Plain and simple, I want to get out. I want to go somewhere where I may not know everybody. I believe Michigan State University is exactly the place for me to go. There I will definitely not know everyone, but will make new friends and form new bonds that will last a lifetime. Birch Run has provided me with a strong foundation and has instilled old-fashioned family values in me that MSU can build on.
Essay Topic: Please provide, in 500 words or less, an example of your leadership in an area(s) outside the classroom
While attending high school, I work at The North Face as a part-time sales associate. During the school year I work on average twenty hours a week and in the summer I work about 36 hours a week. At work I encounter many different types of people and work with them to help them find exactly what they are looking for. I also have store duties that I must fulfill before the end of my shift be it simply straightening the store or doing the nightly closing tasks. I am forced to be a leader and help others get these tasks done in a timely manner. Because of my work ethic and leadership abilities I have been Employee of the Month three times in the past seven months. As while as working, I was also a Peer Tutor. Once a week I would stay after school to help my peers with schoolwork they were struggling with. This also taught me to be a better leader and help them understand what they were learning to allow them to achieve good grades and not fall behind. Being a peer tutor taught me that not everyone understands things the same way, and some people need to have things explained to them many times before they will comprehend it. This, at times, made me have to stop and think about how to explain something to someone in a different way to help them get it.
Actually, 36 is OK. Twenty, thirty, forty, and the like should be spelled out, but compound numbers like thirty-six are best expressed as numerals.
