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A Narrative Engineering Scholarship Essay based on long-term goal career


aluck 1 / 2  
Apr 5, 2011   #1
Scholarship Essay Question: It is a typical Thursday in the work week in the summer of 2044. Based on your long-term career goals, describe your day.

It's 4.30 AM, the sound of the alarm wakes me up from my bed, and I switch on the light, say my morning prayers, do my regular exercise, brush my teeth and take my bath. By the time I'm through with my bath, the time is already 5:15 am. I dress up, look myself in the mirror, a 55yrs old senior software engineer, I smiled and go to my desk.

I turn on the laptop on my desk to check my schedule and e-mails. On my schedule list is two import places and tasks. The first one reads as a seminar conference in Mississippi State University at 10.00 AM and the second reads as debugging a flaw on the software that automate the payroll of client's on Gate's Pensioner Company system server, location is Oxford, Mississippi, and time is 3.00 PM.

I arrive at Mississippi State University 9.00. Being one of the leaders of the research group in Software Engineering at the Department of Computer Science and Engineering in Mississippi State University. I'm to give a speech on the new software project we just completed and lecture the public on how to make better use of it.

We have just completed a new software that will effectively secure internet shoppers and those that are involve in online transaction keep the information such as email address, credit cards, home address, phone numbers, I.P address, bank details and so on, safe from internet hackers and from websites that sell their information to third parties obliviously.

The audience shows a great appreciation for the new software. The Seminar conference ends at 2.00PM, at the program I drive to Gate's Pensioner Company in Oxford, Mississippi.

I get to Gate's Pensioner Company in Oxford, Mississippi at 2.50 PM. The Payroll system server that automates the worker's salary is under attack by internet hackers, when I get there, I try to find out the how the hackers come in, I then discover that there's flaw in the software that the system server that use to automate payroll, the hole in the software let this hackers bridge in to their system, letting them to gain total access to the information (I.P address, e-mails, credit cards, home address, phone numbers, bank details etc) of the workers giving them the authority to install malicious codes on their personal computer system, thereby causing financial harm to this worker because these hackers have access to their bank login details, personal emails login details, credit card details, PayPal login details, and so much more. After a while, I get the bug fixed, developed the software, make it more secure, run different test on it, find it's in good state now. I also help those that are victims of this attack clean their computer system, makes it free of these malicious codes. I also introduce them to the new software system that the research group in software Engineering at the department of Computer Science and Engineering in Mississippi State University has just created, lecture and also show them on how to use it. I let them this will secure their system for a long time, and they should always update it online because there will be constant development on it, in order to fight any new threat that may arrive. When I'm about to leave there for home, I glance at my wristwatch, the time is 8.00PM.

I get home at 8.45 PM. when I get home, I on the television, tune the channel to CNN to what a program on the new technology inventions. When the program end, I on my laptop, connect to the internet, read my new e-mails, chat with friends, we help each other with codes. After that I do some preparation for tomorrow. I go to bed at 10.00 PM, It's another interesting and challenging day, I said to myself while thinking of the day.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 6, 2011   #2
It's 4:30 AM, the sound of the alarm wakes me up from my bed, and I switch on the light, say my morning prayers, do my regular exercise, brush my teeth and take my bath. By the time I'm through with my bath, the time is already 5:15 am. I dress up, look myself in the mirror: a 55 year-old senior software engineer. I smiled smile and go to my desk.

(Above, I made several changes. Notice the place where I put a colon in 4:30. Try to find all the changes I made and practice the correct way.

Use "are"
On my schedule list are two import places and tasks.

Use a colon:
I arrive at Mississippi State University at 9:00AM.

Capitalize Internet

... thereby causing financial harm to this worker because these hackers have access to their bank login details, personal emails login details, credit card details, PayPal login details, and so much more------------This sentence is too long! It is very intriguing, and I am interested, but you should simplify and write with short, clear sentences sometimes.

in software Engineering engineering at the department of...

When the program ends, I on my laptop , connect to the Internet, read my e-mail, chat with friends, and we help each other with codes.

:-)


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