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Hi ! i'm Nathanya , help me correct my Personal Statement for apply KGSP Scholarship

nathanyasascia 1 / 1  
Aug 26, 2016   #1
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Personal background in family and education
- Significant experience you have had, risk you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you

- Extracurricular activities such as club activities , community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable , describe awards you have received , publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.

This is my Personal Statement:
Everyone have their own passion. I found my passion in Fashion Industry. I see fashion as a form of Self Expression. Every country has a different traditional clothes, every person has a different taste of fashion. It is make me realize that fashion industry help people showing their true identity and personality and also affect how people feel inside , Boost their confident and mood, it Literally affect their life too. It is a dream come true to be able to be a part in fashion world.

Since I fall in love in fashion, I determined to learn all about fashion industry, and one of them is fashion sketch. I have been drawing fashion sketch since I was in the last year of junior high school. I learn My Self how to sketch human anatomy to fashion design. I keep practicing to sketch fashion. In senior high school I was chosen to create an Indonesia traditional costume from reusable material to present my class in our independence day. My teacher know that I love sketching and they asked me to sketches some clothes for their self and they love it. They also published my sketches for school open house. Besides my fashion achievement, I was trusted as a leader in theater extracurricular. Representing my school, our team got 2 trophies for the West Jakarta Theater Competition 2015. And I also had third place for musical poetry for the West Jakarta Poetry Competition 2016. Beside my award, I also developed leadership skills by join a leadership super camp and several leadership seminar.

After I graduated from senior high school, as an indication of my seriousness in this field, I took a short fashion course from the government and I passed a competency test to make a female blouse in 5 hours, I actually did it in 4 hours. Since I finished my course, I've been receiving personal orders from my friends and relatives to make outfits. I have been in several workshop, such as Lasalle Digital And Fashion Creative and Paul Keng work shop. Paul Keng was very inspiring and gave me a lot valuable lesson like a realistic anatomy and fashion sketches. I also learned about 3D fashion design in Lasalle worksop.

I intend to learn fashion more and decide to take undergraduate study in fashion field. I fully determined to apply Korea Government Scholarship because I believe South Korea is number one fashion country in Asia. It excites me more because I love South Korea and it is culture. Blend of both traditional and modern fashion taste in South Korea inspire me a lot.

Considering the fact that Indonesia rich of culture especially traditional clothes and traditional fabrics, and my interest in South Korea fashion. That make me have a goal to blend the culture and make it to be an International Brand. With this goal in mind, I hope to be selected for Korea Government Scholarship. I will use my experience and education to have an honor to bring Indonesia and South Korea name in International fashion history.
ZiadRasyid24 10 / 15 3  
Aug 26, 2016   #2
Hi Nathanya, let me you a hand, this is my correction

1. Everyone have their own passion and I found my passion ...
I believesee fashion asis a form of Self Expression.
... traditional clothes and everyone, every person has a different taste of fashion. It isThese make me realize (...) their true identity, and personality and also affect how ..

Boost To improve their confident and mood so , it Literally affect ...
It is like dream comes true to ...

I hope it is helpful.. Please recheck it again ...
Keep writing :)
OP nathanyasascia 1 / 1  
Aug 26, 2016   #3
Thankyou @ZiadRasyid24 thats so helpful !
i'll fix my personal statement as your suggestion :)
and you too keep writing and big luck for you :D
Angela Nang 4 / 10  
Aug 27, 2016   #4
Here are my some suggestions.

I learn........... by myself .
to re present my class on our independence day
My teachers knew ......asked me to sketches some clothes for them and they liked my designs.
In addition, I also won the third place
leadership skills after joining a leadership super camp and several leadership seminar.

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