Dear reviewers,
I'd love to ask you a favour for checking my essay. Please kindly check it and let me know What is good, What is bad and What needs improvement. Thank you in advance.
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skill, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future (max 500 words)
The art of magnifying horizon
Life is all about expanding horizon. Every event happens in life acts as a line linking us to the dots which magnify its boundary. The art of magnifying horizon is called networking. Interestingly, whether negative or positive, networking is always contagious.
I used to believe that connection didn't really matter in life. The paradigm of "I can live this life solely and I still can make outstanding achievements and success" kept engulfing on my head until I met my passion in debate. Since my early second year university study, debate has attracted me insanely. I was so hyped for debate and eagerly wanted to be a great debater. The path to my ambition led me to my bravery participating in some debate competitions, even without having mentor. Although my participation did not end up in triumph, I was ecstatic because my performance was quite remarkable. By this moment, people started knowing my capability, especially in debate.
One day, an invitation of debate competition came to my university asking for its participation. I was glad to be elected as one of the university representatives. The preparation was carried out under the English club because it was the official debate club supported by the university. Practice by practice went on, so did the rehearsal. The luck however was still reluctant embracing me where I once again failed to snatch a trophy. Every cloud has a silver lining in which this connected me to an English club mentor whom taught English at other faculties.
In order to sharpen my debate ability, I created an English forum in my faculty which initially focusing on debate. The focus yet widened to a larger scope that was public speaking, later. At that time, I realised that creating a forum was not as easy as I flipped up my palm. Thankfully, I had been connected to my debate mentor. I asked for her favour to help me building my forum by inviting her students to join and she agreed. In addition, being a minister of Student Resource and Development of Student Executive Council (BEM) in my Faculty also gave me an opportunity to expand the forum. Through several meeting I had with BEM from other faculties, I promoted my forum until it finally flourished.
Being vocal in English, organisation, and community, my existence was more acknowledged. However, being drowned in extra activities didn't hamper me from obtaining excellent academic achievements. With the synergy of both positive qualities, I was entrusted to lead two big events that were International Youth Leader Discussion and Culture show for English Department and National English Olympiad. Later when I was at 6th semester, due to my decisive track, my lecturer asked me to take an internship programme in International Affair Office in my university. Finally, a tiny circle of connection I made through positive networking led me to a favourable horizon. So does this Chevening opportunity, if it eventually comes to me, I will expand my positive horizon through positive networking.@Bayuaddi
Hi there. Welcome here! I hope that you find this forum to be helpful for your writing endeavors. Please do not hesitate to approach us for a more detailed review - and we'd be glad to lend a helping hand to you.
First and foremost, while the first paragraph is quite exquisite and demonstrates your capacity to be extensively creative, I recommend that you try to link this with other more internal ideas that are more necessary for what is actually being asked for in the text.
Having said so, I recommend that you keep your thoughts more organized as well. While the next parts of the essay are quite put-together and beautifully constructed, they failed to articulate a more structured approach to writing. Try to firstly introduce values before you attempt to construct concrete messages throughout.
