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Benefit to Home Country essay
According to the Minister of Science and Technology, Dr Ogbonnaya Onu, the Federal Executive Council (FEC) of Nigeria, on the 28 June 2017, resolved that setbacks in Nigeria's technological development and industrialisation must stop and approved the 13-year National Science, Technology and Innovation Roadmap (NSTIR-2030).
The Minister noted that, to the nation, Research and Development in Science and Technology is a top priority. He stressed that the NSTIR-2030 would aid the country's transition to a knowledge-based, innovation-driven economy; and that universities and other research institutes are key contributors to the development of this new national roadmap.
In spite of this, it is common knowledge that there are insufficient scholars in Nigerian universities with the required technical expertise and understanding in emerging fields of engineering-technology to help achieve this plan. Hence, this is where my masters' study will be of benefit to Nigeria. It will arm me with the required proficiency to drive innovation in Nigeria's robotics engineering development.
Armed with these skills and knowledge, I plan to introduce taught courses in the new department of Computer Engineering at the Federal University of Technology Akure. The outcomes of this plan for the participating students will be to equip them with foundational knowledge in robotics and build their inner-drive for Nigerian exceptionalism. During each semester, there would be a follow-up to get feedback from students before and after the commencement of the taught courses.
I will also pioneer a robotics-research group in my home institution. The goal of the research group will be to develop novel home-grown robotics algorithms to tackle indigenous problems. Research projects would be put on the: university's website; and peer-reviewed journals. An indicator of the impact of this plan will be seen in achievement of one of the primary objectives of the NSTIR-2030, which is to improve indigenous teaching, research and development in areas of advanced computing and robotics; and also by the gradual rise in the university's ranking as the first and best place to study robotics in Nigeria.
Moreover, achieving the NSTIR-2030 will be an illusion if young ones in secondary schools are not channelled into future readiness by understanding the connection and application of Mathematics to technological development. Hence, using my robotics-study as proof, on my return home, through the Great Brains and Young Intellectuals Initiative, GBAYII, I plan to collaborate with the DFID's West-Africa Science and Innovation Network to develop a Mathematics Summer Programme that will focus on improving learning outcomes of mathematics among secondary-school students using a realistic methodology. Lagos will be used as the first-case study, in line with the DFID-Nigeria Operational Plan, due to its enabling environment and supportive government education policies.
This work will enable future-ready STEM students who understand that Mathematics is reality. In the long-run, the gradual increase in Nigeria's quality of education would indicate the impact of my work.Hi! Just to make it easier for the reader next time can you please add a description of what you are supposed to write about? It makes life much easier! :)
In spite of this, it is common [...] engineering development. I think you should a little more description.[/R]
I think your essay, in general, is really concise. Good job! It has a nice flow towards it. The only thing I would say is to have a stronger conclusion. I think your conclusion is very vague so try to add more to it. Good Luck!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 Oluwasegun, sorry about the delay. I stepped away from the computer for a bit. Anyway, I believe that this is a very strong essay that only needs to be tweaked in terms of content because everything else falls into place and has helped to create a very comprehensive essay that is definitely responsive to the prompt requirements. You should shorten the reference to the NSTIR - 2-3- program because it is too long and detailed. It takes up more than half the essay which causes a problem because the interest of the reviewer is more on the discussion of how your studies abroad will help bring benefits to your home country. Summarize the NSTIR 2030 discussion but end it with a focus on what you plan to contribute to the system. If you skip the 3rd paragraph, you will be able to summarize the presentation and go directly to the contribution you plan to make upon your return.
You have some very good references to your future plans. Do you have a time frame for the realization of these contributions? I believe that if you can deliver an estimated time for the completion of these projects upon your return, you will be able to show a more solid work plan for your proposals. From the looks of it, this is at least a 5 year plan. So you will have to highlight which project you consider a priority and why this will be the most beneficial of your projects. Remember your word limit, if one was indicated though. If you find yourself short on allowable words, you can just present your priority project instead of all your planned projects. The more impressive your first project, the less you will need to present additional supporting projects.
