[NTU] Scholarship on Father - 300 words

Hi all,
I stumbled across this community when writing a scholarship essay for NTU, and I would like to get advices from anyone on my essay. Please give me feedback tell areas where I can improve upon. Thank you!

Father:

Father. The man of the family. The one who places others before him.

My father's childhood has poverty written all over it. Being the youngest in a family of 12 siblings, their main objective was merely to survive, nothing more. My grandfather worked as a rubber tapper, in which the income earned was barely sufficient to raise the family. Everyday, my father would return from school to help out his father in the rubber tapping plantation. As a result, his results were poor.

My childhood, on the other hand, is a complete disparity of what his was. I consider myself extremely privileged to have been part of a well-off family. My family has funded my education and provided me with perpetual support for the last 17 years of my life.

The biggest influence that my father has on me is the fact that he managed to; from poverty, raised a family who is so fortunate. All of this could not be achieved if it wasn't for his determination and vision into the future. This is evident in my daily life; he would wake up as early as 5:30am in the morning to prepare breakfast for me, and through forgoing his sleep, ensure that I am well focused in class. Thanks to him, I do not have to worry about financial struggles, social exclusion and instead can devote all my time and effort into studies.

I believe the dissimilarity that he experienced during his childhood is what makes him full of wisdom today. It is true that people who lack the exposure to particular things in the past are the ones who embrace it the best in the future, such as my father with the jump from poverty to being well-off.

I am not sure what the prompt you are responding to is at this point.The essay seems to be heavily slanted towards discussing your father's background rather than actually discussing his influence on you. I do not feel that such a concentration his past and the inclusion of your grandfather in the essay is required. The focus of the essay is less on you and the influence of your father's struggles on your vision for your own future. Rather, it focuses on how your father got out of poverty. Unless I know what the actual prompt for this essay is, I can't properly direct your essay with regards to content and clarity. As of now, the essay works on its own. Without consideration of the prompt requirements. I am not sure if I will hold the same opinion once I read the essay writing instructions. It could change based on the actual focus or topic of the discussion guide.

Oh no, I completely forgot to include the prompt for the essay but here it is: Describe, in less than 300 words, a short essay on a subject of personal importance to you. You may choose any topic. Examples include: an event which has influenced you or a family member/friend/person who had a significant influence on you.

Also, I have read plenty of your feedbacks for the other essays in this forum but so far, I'm finding trouble writing this one essay. I do admit that I have written more about my father and less of myself though. I hope you can further help me on this. Thanks

@Holt
Please get back to me as my deadline is the 28th Feb, thanks. Sure, but this thread must be Urgent.

Please, if it's possible, give me further feedback on this. The deadline for the submission of the essay is in 2 days and I haven't got the funds to Urgent this thread. I would be so grateful if you could help me with this. @Holt