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NTU Scholarship Essay: Values and Beliefs, is it okay to say something involving religion?

electricsmell 1 / 2  
Mar 20, 2014   #1
Hi everyone, I'm applying for a scholarship at NTU. There are three topics and I'm required to choose one, and the the one that I chose is:

"Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to. Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions."

I already have a draft, but I am kinda confused. Is it okay if I talk about my religion in this kind of essay? I've been looking for examples but I haven't found any example that talks about religion.

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 20, 2014   #2
Well, I don't think it is a bad idea to talk about your religious beliefs. However, the focus should be set on you and not on your religion. I mean, you should put it like they are beliefs that are greatly influenced by your religion. Then it would be alright. In nutshell, you should not talk about the religion, but your beliefs that have been influenced by the religion :)
OP electricsmell 1 / 2  
Mar 30, 2014   #3
Hi! Thank you so much for your respond. I got it and I already wrote my essay. Once again thank you so much!
OP electricsmell 1 / 2  
Mar 30, 2014   #4
So after changing the topic a few times and editing it a few times, here's my essay. In the end I didn't mention anything related to religion because I'm afraid it will be sensitive.. I'm still not very confident with it. Can you guys give me a feedback on my essay? Will be much appreciated!

When I was in primary one, my mother used to teach me and she was very strict about academics. My mother does not teach me anymore, but I have adopted the standards that she set on me.

Hard work and perseverance have always been the most important things in my life, especially when I want to achieve my goals. It is not easy for me and I encountered problems when keeping myself up to my own standard-one of them was when I first started doing IB, especially doing Mathematics HL. I used to have no major problem in math and I thought math was fun, but at that point, I arrived at a stage where I found that math has become a lot more challenging and difficult that it gave me frustration instead of excitement. I got below 50% for my semester one exam in grade 11; I thought I was just not that good at math, especially when my father said that my younger brother could beat me easily in math if he was diligent enough. I thought would not be able to survive Math HL, but I did not want to give up. I put a lot of effort and persevered. I did every work that was given even when some of my friends decided not to do it, and I sought help when I encountered problems.

At the end of my grade 11 year, it was proven that my hard work and perseverance did not go in vain. I managed to get the highest mark for my semester two exam. I was reassured that with hard work and perseverance, I can do anything I want. Therefore, hard work and perseverance are really of importance to me as they give me the ability to achieve my goals.

I went from values and beliefs, but when I read it again it kinda looks like the other option of the topic, which is:

"Describe, in less than 300 words, a short essay on a subject of personal importance to you. You may choose any topic. Examples include: an event which has influenced you or a family member/friend/person who had a significant influence on you."

Can anyone also tell me if this essay is more like the values and beliefs topic (the one I mentioned in the first post) of personal importance? Thank you very much!

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