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NUS Scholarship App Essay - Achievements & academic interests


kids_jessy 8 / 34  
Mar 21, 2009   #1
Hi everyone out there! I would like to seek some advice and editing on grammar and language errors for this essay. It is for a scholarship app for National University of Singapore (NUS).

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1. Describe, in less than 2000 characters, an exceptional achievement that highlights your academic interests and intellectual capacity that would be of value to the NUS community.

My interest in economics, business and finance has been long standing. Since young, I have always been particularly intrigued by how economic structures work collectively to bring about greater progress to a country. I feel that combining these interests with business management will enable me to have a sound footing to embark on a career in either economic or financial business sectors.

Throughout my secondary and junior college years, I have always been determined and studious. Due to my Chinese- based background, I spent a long time struggling with my General Paper (GP) and Economics classes. Nevertheless, I told myself not to throw in the towel that easily; instead I put things into perspective, and saw it more of an obstacle that I had to face rather than to be defeated by it. I understand that being responsible for my studies and putting my best foot forward are essential if I want to excel in these subjects. Therefore, be it by memorizing or constantly practising, I strived to break the glass ceilings in these subjects. My contributions in class discussions have also improved, breeding the confidence within me to speak out in front of the whole class. My perseverance paid off when these consistent efforts finally translated into substantial improvement and eventually outstanding grades for all my subjects. Now I am proud of myself. Overcoming these challenges taught me about persistence and about being unfaltering in the face of adversities. Today, I always seek to motivate myself, that despite daunting challenges that line up my path, I would never let myself get diverted from the path to achieving the goals that matter most to me.

By joining the NUS community, I know that I will once again find myself in an academic environment that is presented with rewarding challenges. With the "never quit" attitude" I have developed triumphing over these difficulties, I believe these values and beliefs will help me excel and succeed in the future.

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*General Paper (GP) is basically a English paper. Comprehension skills and essay are tested.

Thank you very much in advance :)
taodo 1 / 5  
Mar 21, 2009   #2
I think that there are some mistakes here. You should review for the better.
-Therefore, be it by memorizing or constantly practising.
I can not understand "be it by" here.
- I believe these values and beliefs will help me excel and succeed in the future.
the structure is : Help+ to do sth
Good luck!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 22, 2009   #3
My interests in economics, business and finance have been long standing. Since youth , I have always been particularly intrigued by how economic structures work collectively to bring about greater progress to a country. I feel that combining these interests with business management will enable me to take a firm foothold and embark on a career in...

Excellent!!! The rest of this essay is really great... I am so impressed! It is obvious that English is not your native language, and yet you have unique eloquence!! Very good stuff, here.


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