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OASIS AUSTRALIAN AWARD SCHOLARSHIP


PHARMACISTHEBA 1 / -  
Apr 11, 2019   #1
Please:- a) give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connections you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional; and

b) list any possible constraints you think may prevent you from achieving these tasks.*:

scholarship to achieve my goals in Palestine



I believe that this scholarship will help me to develop both on a personal and professional scales, I will gain more leadership, management skills, and problem-solving strategies, I will make sure to enhance and share those skill in other people as well, I will do so by participating and creating in events that will focus on marketing strategies and skills, especially with the newly established projects.

On the other hand, I always thought that the Master Degree is a step on the road towards other steps. So I will continue my studies towards a Ph.D. in Marketing, by gaining this degree I will be able to teach the knowledge to our people here in Palestine.

Also, we have such brilliant passionate individuals here in Palestine, who succeeded to start their projects from zero, and we all know the importance of Marketing to these projects, after this Master Degree in Marketing, I will participate in performing a suitable voluntary training to those individuals.

I have always dreamed of creating a Marketing Company in order to support all these amazing handmade products that are being made by our girls and artists.

This company will have many goals:
1-To support and train the desired people with their projects by providing the appropriate advice and strategies towards successful marketing.
2. To focus on Digital Media Marketing. It is very important nowadays to have creative marketing on social media in order to succeed in your projects.

3. To create and participate in events in events and workshops to support the above goal.

As a woman who comes from Palestine, I may have many obstacles that may prevent me to achieve those goals, one of them is the lack of resources and also the lack of governmental support because we have so many political issues, it is hard on a certain level to focus on development, or education by the Palestinian Authorities.

Maria [Contributor] - / 135 80  
Apr 11, 2019   #2
Your first paragraph was quite baffling considering that the structure was all over the place. You could prevent this through cutting down your sentences into easier to digest portions. I would also recommend that you look into removing words that are redundant in your essay.

For instance, I would revise the second-half of this paragraph into:
This scholarship will help me personally and professionally through gaining leadership, management, and problem-solving skills.
What I had done is ensure that I tried utilizing more concise words into the sentence itself. I had also made certain that you do not use words that are similar in tone or meaning with each other (ie. skills and strategies can both be treated either way therefore it's not necessary to use both). Thistechnique is important especially if you are working with word counts. Even if there's no word count, doing this can enable your essay to have a more natural flow to it.

Most of the mistakes that you had accumulated throughout the essay were because you were attempting to use complex sentences. You can easily avoid this through using simpler structures.

Let's look at your second paragraph. I would revise it as:
I always perceived masters to be the first step that would lead to other steps. Having said that, I wish to pursue a doctorate in marketing. I know that through this degree, I will be able to hand-out knowledge to other people in my country.

Furthermore, I would also suggest that you expound more about your last paragraph. You were talking about the political difficulties that come with you living in Palestine - and how these interfere with your professional and personal development. You can be as specific as you wish to be.

I would opt that you as well integrate more anecdotes in your essay. By adding more personalized details, you can have a more intimate approach to your application. This is especially important when you are applying for scholarship programs because they want to be able to learn about your aspirations in life and what makes you stand out from other candidates. Showcasing that you are worth the financial investment is definitely imperative.

Best of luck.


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