Nowadays more and more people use letters,e-mail and telephone calls more often than face-to-face communication. However, I believe that face-to-face communication is much better than others.
To begin , face-to-face communication is the best way to talk with others. First of all , you can use your hands and eyes to strengthen talking with others and to show your emocions. Secondly, during conversation you can also see how your companion feels. Through mobile phone or letters you can't show or see emotions or feelings. Obviously, face-to-face communication makes conversations more clear and smooth. People talk to each other directly hence, many contradictions can be resolve instantaneously.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that face-to-face communication is better than other types. By this way, you can easily express your emotional reaction.
Laurita, what is the exact prompt that you are trying to answer here? It is marked as a scholarship essay but it sounds more like a TOEFL practice test, so which is it? For a TOEFL practice test, I have to tell you that it is too short and does not follow the IBC writing requirements that are used for the TOEFL tests. You need to have an effective introduction, body, and conclusion for your essay.
All of those parts get their own paragraphs, so this bundle of a statement is really not in line with the prompt. Each paragraph needs to be fully developed with 3 or more sentences per paragraph. Most students feel comfortable using 5 sentence per paragraph so you will need to feel your way around that requirement. Since you have numbered your reasons in this essay, you should also offer a full paragraph of developed ideas for each numbered reason, separating each reason as a paragraph.
Your conclusion is also improper because you presented a new idea in the last paragraph instead of summarizing the essay prompt, reasons, and your opinion. Please remember that your opinion needs to be stated as a paragraph before the conclusion. the hard rule of essay writing is that nobody is allowed to present a new idea as part of the conclusion. So you need to revise that as well.
Having critiqued the negative parts of your essay, take heart in knowing that your line of reasoning is actually very good. It can be even better once you learn to fully defend and develop your reasoning in the proper manner befitting a TOEFL essay. Yes, I said TOEFL because there is absolutely no way that this kind of prompt would be used for a scholarship application. Please double check the requirements of the essay, you did not write a scholarship essay.
