Being in Oil&Gas taught me a lot. MBA Admission Essay.

Dear All,
I need your reply and support regarding my below Personal Statement, thanks in advance for your kind support.

developing myself

September 15, 2007, I still remember my first day at Ain Shams university, Faculty of Engineering, that day when I attended my first lecture conducted by one of our best mathematicians, then I attended physics lecture, to know more about point charges & electrons. And how you can spend the rest of your life studying and working on something that you never saw, which seems to be rocket science for those who are not obsessed by that science.

On that day, I became sure that it's all about belief, strong enthusiasm, and self-actualization.
I was chasing opportunities, I joined several student activities, worked as publications member, IT member & Public relations member.
Then decided to get out of my comfort zone, so I became a fundraiser. Persuading several companies' top management to sponsor our student activity as part of their corporate social responsibility.

I still remember the nights I spent preparing business plans and proposals to get the fund for our activity. After that, I applied for the student activity presidential elections, which allowed me for the first time to be the leader of 63 persons from different faculties, not just engineering. Some of the candidates were older than me and have more experience, but I beat them by the well prepared realistic presidential plan, reinforced by "how-to" implement every and each item.

All those experiences added to my character and gave me a very broad exposure that distinguished me from my peers. This experience supported me to get Internships in best multinational companies in their respective fields, as I got internship at Procter & Gamble working in capital management department for 3 months, working on a very important project with critical and reliable results. Then I got another internship at Siemens, which was planned to be only for 1 month, but I was selected among 3 out of 24 trainees to get an extension to spend 8 months after graduation with the company rotating between Project management to Commissioning and testing engineer.

During this period, I got an offer from another multinational company working in Oil&Gas field, which is Halliburton, where I spent 3 years, learning a lot of skills, as my role was a problem-solving job, starting from networks, mechanical & electrical problems, with a lot of constraints and lack of resources.

Being in Oil&Gas taught me a lot about flexibility, stress management and multi-tasking, and due to my fast learning ability and reliable work results, I got the seniority title just in 1 year proving my capabilities and technical knowledge in the field, although it was expected to be achieved within more than 3 years.

During all that I enrolled in masters degree in Ain Shams University, where I got 3.6 GPA in the pre-masters, and got the point of research about "Fault Location Estimation in Smart Grids" which is not a common topic to dig deep in, and needs more and more research effort to get valuable outcome, and now I'm finalizing my research and compiling all the results I got into a conclusion.

In the backstage of all that, I was developing in myself to gain the self-actualization mentioned before.
That's why I worked hard on project management area, then I got PMP certificate, which opened new gates to my career progression.
And due to my good feedback in Siemens when I was in my internship with them for 8 months, I got an offer from their side to join the project management team as a deputy Project Manager (Project Engineer) to contribute in the Mega-Projects taking place nowadays in Egypt. So, I accepted the offer considering it a new challenge to join a new career where I can prove myself as I did in the Oil&Gas one.

Then I got my IPMA certificate, and I ranked 1st among the exam attendees.
And within my first year in Siemens, I became the champion of several tools, starting from projects financial reporting, progress reporting, & risk management tools. All that gave me an exposure to top management responsibilities and duties that plays a key role in giving me more macro management skills and mindset.

Necessity is the mother of invention, a key important starting point now in my career progression, as I need several skills and knowledge, which I already deal with on a daily basis, but I do believe that theoretical background is the base of application, and after that you can innovate, create & think out of the box.

That's why I do believe that MBA offered by the AUC is the best approach now to get equipped with the most important business knowledge to be able to fight more obstacles and to add more value to myself, my community and my corporate.

People are the most valuable asset that should be maintained and developed in the whole world, and then they will impress you by their ability to turn sand into gold.

Ahmed, most of the information that you placed in this essay is academic in nature. Therefore, these should be located in the statement of purpose as part of the academic overview of your application. These are all data about you as a student, there is not much information about you as a person. Who are you beyond being a student? What are your hobbies? What other interests do you have?

There is also a lack of information as to the development of your interest in this MBA is evident in the essay. A personal statement is tasked to explain the development of your interest to the reviewer. This is supposed to be an insight into how that interest became so important to you that you felt compelled to dedicate your life to pursuing the betterment of your career. Most importantly, it must indicate the specific reasons why you chose this specific university among all others to attend. You have to convince the reviewer that your career can be helped only by having your MBA completed at this university. Explain why you are excited to attend the classes there and indicate a desire to attend this upcoming semester. The rest of the discussion can best be served up in the statement of purpose and / or motivational essay / letter, if required.