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More than one career choice/ Social worker+My own business; Career Goals(SCHOLARSHIP)


Apr 17, 2013   #1
Essay Prompt:Write an essay describing your educational and career goals and how you plan to achieve them. Limit response to 500 words or less

It's due by the end of this week so can someone get back to me as soon as possible...Thanks!

Throughout my life I have always had a passion for helping others and I believe I can accomplish that by majoring in a field like social work and a minor in health management. See usually people focus on one career but me I have two that I could see myself doing excellent work in. I believe that it is important to have more than one career choice just to fall back on. If the career you wanted did not work out as planned you should at least put in work to make your choices work. That is why I believe it is important to major in more than one major in college because it greater your chances of receiving a job.

I could see myself being a remarkable social worker because I could relate to my clients situation. This is why social work is one of the majors I would like to major in college. I visualize myself bettering the lives of children who live in unstable homes and environments. I could especially appeal to the children I work with because I have been in their shoes. I would be delighted to work with child protective services so that I can give kids a chance at having a stable home and life like myself.

Growing up I had to deal with a social worker myself because of a custody hearing my sister and I had to go through. I disliked the fact that I had to meet with someone I did not know almost every month but once the case was settled I was relieved. I was thankful for the social worker because she kept my sister and me out of foster care and into the hands of my aunt. I do not think I would be the young lady that I am today if it was not for my social worker.

I would also like to minor in health management because I would like to start my own business of social work. I can picture myself not only managing my business but also managing other social workers. I just don't want to hire people who are social workers because of the fun it I want to hire workers who are willing to change lives like myself. I want my workers to inspire my clients by any means necessary. The most significant aspect I would like to gain from health management is time management. I am good at organizing and planning but when it comes to managing my time it becomes kind of impossible to manage it.

Apr 17, 2013   #2
"Throughout my life I have always had a passion for helping others and I believe I can accomplish that by majoring in a field like social work and a minor in health management. See usually people focus on one career but me I have two that I could see myself doing excellent work in. "

Instead, you should word your intro like this:
"Throughout my life, I have always had a passion for helping others. I believe I can accomplish that by majoring in a field such as social work, and a minor in health management. Typically, people focus on one career. I have two that I could see myself doing excellent work in."

I understand what you are trying to talk about throughout your essay, although you need some work on sentence structure as well as fixing a few grammatical errors. Other than that, your essay is really good!


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