Personal Statement for UK scholarship
The lean towards the medical field began when I was a sophomore. I encountered a powerful blast ripped through the crowd, killing indiscriminately. Many lives were killed by the wild beasts in human skin. Ambulances carried the critically injured to the hospital and many of them survived because of the endeavours of Doctors - "the saviours of humanity". The absence of doctors in that period simply meant death and doctor at that time was considered God as he gave "Life". Since that very day, I developed a deep love for this profession and I strived hard to qualify for a prestigious medical college and resultantly became a doctor. In order to fulfil the true spirit of being a doctor, I made my life a story of an exemplary philanthropy and attracted many other students for these welfare activities. Aristotle said, "Man is a social animal. He who lives without society is either a beast or God". It is difficult for a human to survive alone under the pangs of solitude. We have to enter into relationships with our fellowmen for living a life. No man can break the shackles of mutual dependence. This begins perhaps between the embryo and the mother and continues till our last breath. Similarly, during my undergraduate studies, as the Chairman Patients' Welfare Organization CMC Larkana (College students' organization) our team members served sick patients by arranging student volunteers for blood donations. We helped to solve the problems they faced at underdeveloped government hospitals. Moreover, being a committed health activist, I worked during 2010 floods in Pakistan as a team member, in which our team implemented various community strategies to engage volunteers at flood camps and successfully provided 90% coverage to children against nine deadly diseases including Poliomyelitis. Furthermore, in 2014 during my final year M.B,B.S, our team in collaboration with college administration organized a relief camp for the victims of the Tharparkar Drought. Being the good orator, I was given the opportunity to give a speech in all lecture halls and city community halls depicting the plight of drought affected people. Afterwards, we encamped there in the Tharparkar District with senior doctors and have treated about 700 children suffering from Paediatrics' diseases and malnutrition. It was our great achievement as college seniors. I still reminisce happiness and joy that I felt when watching a hungry child who took his first morsel of food, her mother wept in happiness. Similarly, Paediatrics Head of Department has written for me, "From his ongoing social welfare work in the rural areas to his clinical work in the undeserved paediatric wards here, Tarik's efforts rise to the level that is best described as community welfare and health activist. His activities have made a real difference". Moreover, being the student with leadership qualities I was chosen to be the member of University's Student Council and discussed various students' problems in meetings held annually with high university officials. Afterwards, in my professional life as a house surgeon, I have remained a cabinet member of Young Doctors Association Larkana Chapter and have positively contributed to the problems faced by newly recruited medical internees. Currently, I am working as a Lecturer in Community Medicine at a medical college. As my country Pakistan is suffering from myriad of public health challenges i.e. infectious diseases non-infectious diseases and the eruption of diseases like Dengue Fever, Congo Virus, and HIV/AIDS. During my undergrad studies, I was exposed to the flood affected population who lived in extreme poverty suffering from multiple community acquired diseases. Subsequently, during my hospital postings, I saw unhygienic environments in our wards in which most of the patients were prone to many hospital-acquired diseases, including post-operative infections and septicaemia. During my final year, I saw levels of extreme malnutrition in children. It is quite pathetic to know that hundreds of children die every year due to preventable diseases. Josette Sheeran, of the World Economic Forum, was quoted to have said, "Every 10 seconds we lose a child due to under nutrition. This is more than HIV/AIDS, malaria and tuberculosis combined."
Keeping in view, all health related problems caused due to the lack of community education, my goals as a public health professional are ambitious. For one, I hope to contribute to increasing life expectancy of the average person in Pakistan through proper healthcare awareness. Secondly, eradicating communicable diseases with clean air, water, and hygienic environment in hospital wards. And most importantly reducing children mortality through continuous vaccination programs, ensuring highly nutritious food & family planning. So I have chosen my future carrier in Public Health and Health Policy making. Because of this profession, in the past, we were able to save humanity suffering from Black Death that claimed many lives than the casualties in both world wars combined and now, we have been able to contain Ebola, Tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS.
Moreover, as an Erasmus Mundus Scholar, I plan to devote myself with public health professionals in containing Ebola, Zika & Congo Virus in Africa, Polio in Pakistan and Afghanistan and AIDS from the world. I am an extrovert and is excited to move to a different country and work in a new environment. I'm looking forward to being a part of the strong networking of young leaders from all over the world and share my culture and experience.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Tarik, your first paragraph is extremely long. This poses a formatting problem in your essay because you created a page that is extremely difficult to read. It would be in your best interest to format the essay into paragraph topics, as required by the normal personal statement format. However, I have to caution you about the content of your essay. It appears that this is more of a statement of purpose rather than a personal statement. For a personal statement, you need to explain only the following:
1. A history of the development of your interest in Medicine. You covered this in the first part of your extremely long paragraph.
2. Mention one or two extra curricular activities that you participate in, in relation to your medical studies. Limit the presentation because most of these will be used to beef up your statement of purpose. Just establish that you dedicated your life to the medical profession.
3. Discuss why you chose a particular university to study at. Remember to pick a university that is within the Erasmus Mundus network of schools otherwise, it may be difficult for your to get consideration for the scholarship.
4. Explain how you came to the decision to apply for the Erasmus Mundus scholarship among all of the scholarships available to you. How do you expect the scholarship to help you and how do you hope to pay homage to them in the future after your graduation? Discuss these as your closing statement.
Refocus your essay to sound more like a personal statement using the instructions above. Don't forget to register your essay as "Urgent" when you post your revised version so that I can continue to guide you.
