Most students have an identity, an interest, or a talent that defines them in an essential way.
*Application essay topic B. Irish so will be applying as international student. Total word count: 358*
my interest in stock market
One interest that makes me different would be my interest in the stock market. From the age of 12 after a conversation with my parents in which the informed me about our families financial problems. This sparked an interest in finance. I would continuously look at the stock markets checking how companies I knew were doing. Eventually I decided to find out what all the numbers and finance lingo meant such as the market cap or dividend and yield. After reading many online articles on The Wall Street Journal (well the free ones at least) and on Yahoo! Finance, I decided to learn more about the investment side of finance.
Unfortunately, I learned that a lot of investors are the 'gambler' type using things such as 'binary options' to make a quick profit. Growing up, I learned to smart and safe with my money as it was a scarcity. After investigating many investing apps, I finally stumbled upon one called 'Rubicoin.' When I say that this was like a dream and perhaps one of the greatest moments of my life, I'm not lying. It was perfect. While not a broker, it thought me everything about investing and even had a number of recommendations and a lot of information of specific companies. They later launched two more apps, named 'Invest' and 'Learn.' I looked up the company (Rubicoin Limited) and found out something amazing. They were Irish and based out of Dublin. I loved and still love everything they do. They are almost like superheroes to me.
Rubicoin threw so much fuel on the fire and sparked so much more interest in me that I felt as though I had to continue on this path. So much so, that I decided to get in contact with them in the hopes of gaining some work experience there. When they said yes I was over the moon. I had one of the best weeks of my life and learned so much. They are only a small company of 13 employees, including Founder and Co-Founder, but they have played a massive part in charging my love and interest in finance and investment.
HaHa, you tell a funny story~
I just found out 1 problem, and you can check if i am right:
From the age of 12 after a conversation with my parents in which the informed me about our families financial problems. This sparked an interest in finance;
maybe these two sentence actually should be combined, that is "At the age of 12 after a conversation with my parents in which they informed me about our families financial problems, this sparked me an interest in finance".
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Martin, this is a very good essay that is only marred by the grammatical errors that abound within it. You need to proofread your paper and make sure that you catch all of the misspelled words (e.g. thought instead of "Taught") and fill in the blanks with the sentences that do not have a subject in them. These turn out to be hanging sentences that don't make sense. Maybe, as Luo pointed out, you were typing too fast and ended up placing periods in the sentences before you could finish the thought typing process onscreen. You may also want to consider explaining why your parents would focus on explaining about the stock market to a 12 year old. It doesn't make much sense as of now for your parents to be explaining such an intricate system of investing to a child. Unless they lost heavily in the stocks and were trying to regain the loss, which is what sparked your interest? A little clarification is required at that point. Also, try to develop more of a discussion regarding how this interest has helped to better define you as a person or a particular character of yours in an "essential" way, as the prompt indicates.
I like to read your essay which is filled with varied stories.
Just one idea. Rather than saying the best time to work in the company, you can illustrate specific example which intrigued your interest if you can share your experience.
Above all, the essay is well constructed well.
hi I think your essay is good and full of interesting stories. It would be better to include your feelings. And correct some mistakes "From the age of 12 after a conversation with my parents in which THEY informed me about our families financial problems"