Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 3


I was one of the leader at high school student council and a director in the theater club. Chevening


arsanti 1 / -  
Oct 25, 2018   #1
Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer

Please help me check my essay.

English is not my first language if you can more details it would really great. Thank you for your help.

The result of my influence on students



I was one of the leader at high school student council and a director in the theater club. The result of my influence when in student council are we become the more active organisation than before. Also, we won as the best director and best performance in a district theater competition which I am in charge.

After finished my undergraduate degree, I worked at a retail company. My responsibilities are to make sure that employees actively delivered best service quality both internal and external.I am in charge for 72 store as store fokus to meet the required target with service excellent. To achieve it, company trust me to oversee 27 employee who report directly to me. At first, they were a staff at the store, after one year trained and mentored with me, 19 of them become the store leader.

On 2017, I decided to contribute to community and joined with ROLE Foundation. I was the capacity builder who responsible to coordinate, communicate and search funding for the foundation. When work there, we conduct a few charity event. One of this charity event are to fund the Baliwise, women empowerment program. This program focus on helping marginalised women to get educated and decent job, so they can gave appropriate living for their family.

Even after not worked at the retail company and ROLE Foundation anymore, the employee I trained and student I met keep in contact with me and sometime asked suggestion or just shared story. At least, 60% of them have a better job now.
vania 7 / 12 2  
Oct 25, 2018   #2
From your story I understand that you have leadership experience.
Nevertheless, I think you should depict one moment of difficulty or problem you faced as a leader and how you tackle the problem using the Leadership and Influencing skills.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Oct 26, 2018   #3
Arsanti, this is an extremely short leadership and influencing essay. The content of which, I am afraid, does not make you qualified for the scholarship. The lack of qualification stems from your lack of leadership and influencing skills. There are no clear positions of leadership that allowed you to display a capacity for team management, conflict resolution, and innovative management ideas. You are not displaying yourself as a future influencer and leader in your field of work.

It appears to me that the problem stems from your lack of true leadership foundation stemming from your college days. Your high school accomplishments are not really considered to be leadership and influencing skills in a manner that could be notable to the reviewer. Your role at the retail company sounds like you were only part of the HR training team, which is not the same as an influencing and leadership experience. Even your civic performance at ROLE does not showcase any of the abilities that a leader has not do you display any influencing skills within the cause either.

I am afraid that you have either not writte a very good essay that depicts your potential as a leader and influencer in your line of work or, you simply do not qualify for the Chevening scholarship at this point due to your lacking qualifications. Either way, this essay does not help your application and I am not sure if your chances will improve even if you revise the essay content to display more leadership and influencing skills.


Home / Scholarship / I was one of the leader at high school student council and a director in the theater club. Chevening
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳