Hellooo!
i am applying for KGSP and this is my personal statement.
kindly revise my essay and give me your opinions
by the way I want to develop the *why choose Korea* section but I acceeded the ONE PAGE requirement, So please tell me which paragraph is pkey to get removed or summerized.
kgsp personal statement
My passion for engineering sparked in high school thanks to the field trips my physics/chemistry teacher had organized back then for the top students. We visited a dairy company, a wind farm and most notably a school of engineering in which we toured different facilities and laboratories and got to learn about various areas such as chemical, process and civil engineering. Afterwards, my love for nature and concern about ecological issues of our planet encouraged me to go for an Environment science related major.
After I passed my baccalaureate with a great mark I without hesitations opted for sciences and technology field at ********. My grades were a bit over average at my junior year however, by the time my studies got more focused on Environmental Chemistry I managed to Increase my marks and eventually I completed my undergraduate study at class A which is the top 10%.
My graduate coursework was more specialized and demanding yet, it was the greatest source of fun. I was deeply attracted to courses like: wastewater treatment, wastes managing, gas effluents treatment, soil & sites remediation and advanced oxidation processes because they are powerful tools to solve environmental problems. With my diligence and love for these subjects I remained a student of top-ranking and graduated with an average grade of 15.73 on a scale of 20 which is equivalent to 100% percentile, granting second place in my class and in the top 2% in my school.
To complete my Masters dissertation I have done extensive researches for over six months, during which I worked on different projects using various advanced oxidation processes AOP for the treatment of persistent organic compounds such as: dyes and pharmaceutical substances. AOPs like Fenton, photo-catalytic reaction, non-thermal plasma and the combination of these techniques were applied to study their synergistic effects.
For my thesis -treatment of anthraquinonic dyes by Gliding Arc Discharge: study of temporal post discharge effects- I used a nonthermal plasma technique to degrade two anthraquinonic dyes: Red Alizarin S and Acid Green 25 in two treatment conditions: direct exposure to the discharge then follow of the degradation rate, and the use of water activated by plasma to see its influence. The decolourization and degradation were measured for different times of treatment then for severe hours after the discharge. The results were pretty astonishing which made my thesis well received and broadly discussed by experts in the field during my viva.
Beside the excellent academic performance I have valuable work experience from both my undergraduate and graduate studies. At my senior bachelor year in 2014 I enrolled in a one month training course at Algeria's first and leading petrol and gas company SONATRACH, precisely in the GNL1/Z complex. That was my first time experiencing the real world of industries; I gained an understanding of gas liquefaction and petrol refinancing processes and managed to contribute especially in the department of water utilities which I was affiliated to. My bachelor thesis was a case study of the wastewater treatment plants installed in this complex therefore I got acquainted with the pollution problems and devoted a significant portion of my project to devising pollution abatement methods.
My second work experience was quickly after I got my bachelor degree, I worked at a small food processing company in which I was assigned to quality control department and given the responsibility to maintain the quality of the products by running physicochemical analysis and inspecting incoming materials. This was challenging, I was on my own, I had to be confident, independent and able to be assertive in unfamiliar situations. Also, I had to study about new different things in order to complete the tasks given to me successfully. This might be my most challenging experience, but the most impactful one was when I got accepted for a lecturer position at the university of ********. My course was "Characterization of molecules"; I had to teach students different analytical methods used for characterisations and identification of organic compounds (chromatography, spectrophotometry etc). Furthermore, I had to assist their laboratory work, evaluate their reports and even prepare the exams and generate grades.
The teaching experience has ignited the desire I have gained after going through a successful academic course; I want to be a professor and a researcher, thus I am aiming to comeback to academic studies and undertake a PhD in environmental engineering.
Choosing south korea was not random or out of void even though I admit that the Korean ambassador's speech at an event organized at his residency and which I took part of is what encouraged me to apply for KGSP this year. I have been interested in Koreans language, culture and almost everything for almost a decade now; therefore I am so familiar with so many aspects of it. Korea is a country that has been rising steadily and rapidly to bring about such achievements to itself and to the entire world. I find that inspiring and truly astonishing and would be a wonderful opportunity for me to not only receive the knowledge and high quality education offered by Korean universities but to also experience all sides of life there.Hi!
First of all: This is my first time commenting on any essay so please kindly note, that my feedback won't be as precise as Holt's.
The presentation of your academic career sounds pretty sound to me. However, I feel like you've spent a lot of time describing your work experiences. I don't think, that it is necessary to describe what you did in that much detail, instead you should focus more on what you gained from this work experiences so that you have more wordcount to present your motivation for choosing Korea. Because that part, your motiavation for Korea, seems to come a little short compared to the rest. I think there some more detail would be needed. For example: Why exactly did the Korean ambassador's speech inspire you to go to Korea? What exactly do you like about Korean culture and Korean? Moreover, one aspect that I feel is missing: Why did you choose to apply for the KGSP and not any other scholarship program? What commits you to the KGSP? And you said, that you have an interest in the Korean language for about ten years now. Have you already learned some Korean? Do you know how to read and write hangul and have you maybe already taken the TOPIK test? If yes, then I think that it would be good to include this in your essay.
I hope I could help you a bit with my feedback and good luck with your application!
