This is my first time of writing an essay like this so would like for you to bare with me and help me out with any mistake and any suggestion you have .
ESSAY:
There are many reasons why people do or want something in their lives for a good or bad purpose,I Jonathan Aweh only need an assistance from you to further my education and accomplish my goals in life so i can give back to the society.Firstly there are a lot of reasons why I should be giving this scholarship and below I state them.
I started out as a young morbid young boy from the slums of Maamobi where i was born and bred through out my life up till today,I used to tell my parents i always wanted a computer for my own ever since i visited Mark a friend of mine at his house,who had one which helped him learn.Since i saw that i became fascinated about the machine and ever since always went to his house to learn more about it and sometimes play games on it,i became addicted to it that even on Sunday's i would sneak early in the morning out of the house and go there to use it before they go to church.So my parents came to the notice of this and asked me why i have been doing that,told them how happy i become each time i see the computer,following my interest they asked me what i wanted for my 4th year birthday and i said a computer but unfortunately i didnt get it because they didn't have the money to get it for me,they then told me to always pray for them to get the funds to provide the computer for me,that didn't drive me away so i kept going to Mark's house until his mother saw how interesting i became when i was behind the computer so she bought one for me as well,well the passion you have in you from childhood its the one that develops in you when you grow up,so when am giving this financial aid it will boost me to pursue my dream which its to learn computer science and acquire the skills of becoming a software developer and a computer engineer.
Also,never had the slightest idea what learning meant when i was in the Senior High School level 1,i always went do the wrong things and not participate in class in what so ever we do,never did anything that could show that teachers and students i was serious until i went to level 2.In our first term examination something extraordinarily happened,i noticed in all the papers i wrote that i finished first or second before anyone did,didn't really learn at that time but when the results came out i had 6A's and 2C's so there i knew learning was to my mind as exercise was to my body.So after seeing the results i knew i had something in me that i know no one had,a drive to learn and go to the stream to find out what i don't know and the exciting behind it when doing my research and leaning new things.I knew since then that i had to work towards developing this gift but due to financial constrains always ended up not getting the books and the necessary things to help me out so i ended up borrowing and begging.Now that am done with Senior High School and have this God sent opportunity to further my education wouldn't want to go through what happened in Senior High School,so i believe when am giving this aid i believe i would be able to go for what i always dream t of and that is furthering my education in peace and harmony and a noble establishment like Ashesi.
They say home sweet home,yes home sweet home but my idea of a place i would call home its the day i will be a computer science engineer and a computer software programmer where i will see my self giving back to my country in any aspect of life possible.Been home means providing for the needy ones like Ashesi its doing right now and building a computer software developing company where we will develop software's to make work and learning easy for the people of Ghana and Africa as a whole.Since i started my journey to "home" the first day i was put in class i had made some stops where it wasn't easy but with God i was able to continue.Now i believe am at my next stop with my vehicle and when i am granted this aid i will be able to move my vehicle with my gift,passion and drive towards "home".
Thank you for this great opportunity and i pray and hope i will be granted the opportunity to refuel my vehicle,God bless you for what you have been doing for people like me and pray you get more resources to continue doing the good work for humanity.
Any suggestion and corrections are welcomed Thank you.
Hi Jonathan,
"..but unfortunately i didnt get it because they didn't have the money to get it for me.."
I suggest, to avoid repeating the same :"get it " -> "but unfortunately i didnt get it because they couldnt afford it (for me).."
also :"when I am given a financial aid/ I will be given a financial aid ..."
"..acquire the skills to become a software engineer, .."
"..in any possible aspect of life .."
I hope native speakers could help further
following my interest they asked me what i wanted for my 4th year birthday and i said a computer but unfortunately i didnt get it because they they couldn't afford it for me, they then told me to always pray for them to get the funds to provide the computer for me,that didn't drive me away,i kept going to Mark's house until his mother saw how interesting i became when i was behind the computer and she bought one for me as well,well the passion you have in you from childhood its the one that develops in you when you grow up,hence when i will be giving a financial aid it will boost me to pursue my dream which its to learn computer science and acquire the skills to becoming a software developer and a computer engineer.
Also,never had the slightest idea what learning meant when i was in the Senior High School level 1,i always went do the wrong things and not participate in class in what so ever we did,never did anything that could show the teachers and students, i was serious until i went to level 2.In our first term examination something extraordinarily happened,i noticed in all the papers i wrote i finished first or second before anyone did,didn't really learn at that time but when the results came out i had 6A's and 2C's so there, i knew learning was to my mind as exercise was to my body.After seeing the results i knew i had something in me that i know no one had,a drive to learn and go to the stream to find out what i don't know, and the exciting behind it when doing my research and leaning new things.I knew since then that i had to work towards developing this gift but due to financial constrains always ended up borrowing and begging for books and other necessary resources.Now that am done with Senior High School and have this God sent opportunity to further my education, wouldn't want to go through what happened in Senior High School,therefore i believe i will be giving a financial aid to be able to go for what i always dream t of and that is furthering my education in peace and harmony and in a noble establishment like Ashesi.
They say home sweet home,yes home sweet home but my idea of a place i would call home its the day i will be a computer science engineer and a computer software programmer where i will see my self giving back to my country in any possible aspect of life.Been home means providing for the needy ones like Ashesi its doing right now and building a computer software developing company where we will develop software's to make work and learning easy for the people of Ghana and Africa as a whole.Since i started my journey to "home"which its the first day i was put in class, i had made some stops where it wasn't easy but with God i was able to continue.Now i believe am at my next stop with my vehicle and when i am granted this aid i will be able to move my vehicle with my gift,passion and drive towards "home".
Thank you for this great opportunity and i pray and hope i will be granted the opportunity to refuel my vehicle,God bless you for what you have been doing for people like me and pray you get more resources to continue doing the good work for humanity.
Thank you soo much
but i rewrote this again taking it from the lines of paragraph one,please help me out and check it for me.Any suggestions are welcomed again.
I hope that helped a little, suggestions of native speakers would be much better
