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The opportunity to go to the United Kingdom to study - for Chevening


Jagar Baso 1 / 1  
Sep 13, 2020   #1

to take action and Inspire people



I believe leadership is someone who is not afraid to get hands dirty, solving problems on time, discover and present weakness, and know how to take action and Inspires people to think through and do the action.

I remember when I was a child I always love to helps my parents and give it to them my support, and when I reach 16 years I never let my parents visit the doctor alone when they get sick, I tried to take care of them and take them to the Doctor.

When I was in the university we had a gas issue in winter in the internal apartment we were around 2500 students, we received Gas too late two months after the winter and it was not useful, when I asked my colleagues why we have this kind of services, the answer was this we always and every year have the same routine and many times we visited the administration department of the university, but they were not able to fix this issue. I decided to try again to visit the Administration Office or even to visit our Prex to get a solution early, unfortunately, after many efforts, the matter did not improve, and when I try it the last chance to see our Prex maybe he can fix this issue he explained to me that this kind of issue we are unable to solve because we are receiving GAS from the government municipality's administration, and they are distributing GAS as per their plan. I suggest collecting the signatures from students at least 100students and to make a request letter and visit the government by myself any more; because my networking with students was very active, and I was an open and friendly person, and also I was cocker many times I made the foods for students and I invited them, I collected their signatures and I visited the government office and I solved our matter for 2500 Beneficiaries.

On the beginning of the 2012 many Syrian refugees entered Iraq due to the war, especially in Kurdistan and the first refugee's convoy was in Duhok in Dmoiz Camp was around 70,000 Refugees, in that time I was assistant registration with a local Humanitarian Organization we were a partner with UNHCR and we directly interview the refugees, After deciding that we will receive a limited number around 3,000 individuals of Syrian refugees from the Syrian Border "Sheila" because we have limited space in the camp, limited foods for a limited number of refugees, when we went in Syrian border we received more than our expectation because the refugees were families (Woman, Children, and older) and we have received around 5,700 individuals which are big number, in that time I suggest to my supervisor that I have a friend in the TV channel he is a photographer I will ask him if he can publish this emergency situation in TV from the people of Duhok that we need humanitarian aid, maybe they will help refugees, and it was very successful and many peoples delivered humanitarian aid to the Camp, and we collected aims such us Food, Clothes, Gas for more than 3,000 beneficiaries. I never forget these moments.

I believe myself my experience as a leader truly prepared me to be a future leader in my home country and the opportunity to go to the United Kingdom to study and the Chevening scholarship and the networking opportunity, I will meet different leaders, different cultures from different countries. This one will help my world's view to be able to know how different peoples the thinks do, this one will make me open-minded, when I come back to my country, I will affect these objectives, and I ratify that this produces me an ideal nominee for this Chevening Scholarship.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,766 4768  
Sep 14, 2020   #2
There is no real leadership ability portrayed in this essay. You have not given any indication that you have actually led a group towards the solution of a problem. When you say "We", then you admit to a shared responsibility with an actual leader at the helm. In all of the situations that you presented, you acted in a manner that "suggests" an action rather than "leads" an action. Those are two different things. You should not even be referring to such juvenile instances as accompanying your parents to the doctor. There is no leadership skill in that either. Basically, this essay is full of suggestions you made to leaders. There was no problem that you took actual charge of solving successfully on a professional basis, which is the main consideration for this essay. Portray your development as a leader in your professional field, then we can talk about improving your essay.

As for the influence part, making suggestions could only qualify as influence if you manage to suggest, develop solutions, and actually lead, as in be the point person, for the activity. Influence comes hand in hand with leadership. You only have suggestions here, no influence was exerted to an impressive degree and the influence used is too simple to be of note in relation to what you believe are your leadership skills.
OP Jagar Baso 1 / 1  
Sep 16, 2020   #3
@Holt
Thank you so much for your high attention and comments for my essays, Rally I have accepted your comments, and verry useful your explanation ,
I am going to update my essay, and reshare with you,

Best regaards,
adrnknnths 1 / 3  
Sep 30, 2020   #4
@Jagar Baso

Hi, I think you might want to recheck your grammar before you submit the essay. As for your example, I suggest to give examples where it relates to your career plan (perhaps when you lead a team or influence a project in the company).

You also need to be aware of switching your story from 1 paragraph to another. I think you nailed the message on influencing part.

However, you might want to put more examples on your experience in the "leading" part when you have a goal, a team, and a result.

Goodluck on the submission!!


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