Orphan's life - Personal importance that influence my life

THE LIFE OF AN ORPHAN

Whenever I am listening to an old Indian music tears of love and sadness began to rolled down over my cheeks, and this usually took me to remembered the most sadness and unforgettable day of my life.

One sunny day, on Monday after school I was running as fast as I could in order to show my parents the shared mathematics test result which I scored 100% especially my father upon his Promised that he made to me day before that day on phone, and I knew at that time he would have returned home over his last trading trips from Gombe.

I started to slow down the time that I saw an ambulance and a crowd of people chatting slowly infront of our house, I started to feel uncomfortable because I have never witnessed such crowds of people in my home I hurriedly entered the apartment while other people tried to stop me but I managed and forced myself into the house because I was too anxious to know what is the purpose of the gathering. I just saw my mom and other relatives crying over an unmovable man that was laid down and assumed death, I began to pray that the laid down man was not be my father but I was too late for the praying because it was him.

Life was turned cruel to me ever since my dad died despite being surrounded by many relatives but sometimes I feel lonely and helpless especially when it comes to academics .

I often visited an orphanage home because of this( loss of my dad) to shared our experiences and sometimes I gave charity after school, as time goes on we started to planed a weekend tutorial for the orphans to those with less privileged with my friends especially Zakari who lost but of his parents.

Sometimes I started to think as if I am a God I will have not allowed death to be taking some important people's life usually parent because I saw the negative effects of being an orphan at a very young stage.

The story title is The Life of an Orphan. An orphan is someone who has lost both parents, the mother and the father. and does not have any other relatives to speak of. You are not an orphan. The title is wrong. The grammar in the essay is error filled. From run on sentences, to time frame errors, to simply using punctuation marks, the essay has too many mistakes for this to be a well written English essay. I am guessing that you are writing this for an English writing class, which means I have to commend you for your effort in writing it. However, the drama of your presentation is lost in the reading. Grammar errors prevent the reader from getting caught up in your story.

I am not exactly sure what the writing instruction for this essay is. So I am not able to advise you regarding the correct approach to writing the content. However, you should know that every paragraph needs to have at least 3 sentences in it. Since this is not a dialogue based piece of creative writing, you should not be presenting single and two sentence paragraphs. The run-on sentence presentations in every paragraph should also be avoided. Sometimes, it is better to write simple sentences than complex sentences when you are just starting out. The simpler your presentation, the lesser your grammatical errors.