Hi , I am working on this essay for the scholarship application. I would love people to give any advice on this essay.Thank you.
The topic is Leadership.
My parents are my first role models when it comes to the idea of leadership. They started with very little but had a strong work ethic that led to their success. When I was young, I watched them hold meetings, or discuss matters pertaining to their restaurant business. With my learning and experience, I have learned that leadership consists of thinking ahead, speaking out, and accepting both successes and difficulties.
Before a leader starts a project, she needs to think ahead. Leader needs to be aware of the macro-view, as well as the micro-details. For instance, my mom and dad own a successful restaurant, my mom's always thinks one step ahead. She stocks food that corresponds to the advanced selling. This required years of accumulative experience as well as knowing every detail pertaining to the restaurant business. Inspired by my mom, I came up with a fundraising idea for a flea market at school, and wrote a proposal to the principle which listed: the intention, process, preparation, delegation of responsibilities, and necessities. Witt a solid plan, I can keep track of what I am doing, and can predict the next step. Leadership is about strategically thinking and taking control of things, forming a plan and having a timeline.
The ability to listen, speak clearly and cooperate is another basic skill a leader needs. Leaders of countries will campaign and communicate to the citizens in order to better serve them. A good leader should be rational, decisive and holistic. Likewise, in business, meetings allow a leader to hear from colleges' opinions, and to share. Leaders should take responsibility for what they hear and what they said. I used to be a leader in a biology group. I needed to consider the abilities of all members while producing the work on time. During meetings, I took notes carefully and announced each person's work publicly in order to eliminate group bias. Group work sometimes involved controversy, so I made decisions as fairly as possible. This experience built up my ability to organize and coordinate.
To lead isn't all about the success. The ability to think big and tackle imminent difficulties is important. My mom and dad's restaurant has been open for over a decade, but in order to improve, we needed more marketing strategies. I started to work on branding. I did research and pointed out the vulnerabilities we were experiencing. I proposed ideas to develop the quality of the restaurant. I redesigned the logo, menus, and packaging boxes; dish and table presentation. We added the VIP cards and details about the furnishings. I created a restaurant website and gave my parents advice on servicing and local advertising. In the process of the project, I gained knowledge and skills apart from branding, such as computer skills and time management. A leader cannot think as an individual, but must recognize and think for a group. The most important thing is to devote oneself to the work, think big, and take responsibilities.
I believe that leadership is cultivated through opportunities and practice. I treat difficulties with an open mind and am flexible in finding solution. I view all matters thoroughly and thoughtfully and solve the problems instead of avoiding them. To be a leader, I need to be constantly absorbing, learning, and moving forward.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,799 
4780 Hi Jennifer, I congratulate you on choosing to use your parents as the role model for leadership in your essay. Not every young person today opts to admit that they have such admiration for their parents. The fact that you want to be like them in terms of leadership is something that makes this essay special. However, it does have its short-comings.
When you say that your mother and father are the examples of leadership in your life, it stands to reason that you will be presenting at least one each of the leadership traits that your parents individually have. After all it is their combined leadership in your family's restaurant business that made it a success. So my proposal to you is this, represent your parents equally in the essay. As of now, you only speak of the leadership skills of your mother and its relation to your family business. Don't you think your father deserves the same representation in the essay?
If you will consider my suggestion, the format of your essay, which should make it more representative of your claims, should be as follows:
1. Describe the leadership skill you admire in your mother, explain why that is so.
2. Talk about your father's role in the business and what makes him a leader also.
3. Describe how these 2 traits had an impact on you growing up.
4. Present the project you developed and presented to the principal. Make sure it includes references to your parents leadership traits.
5. Conclude the essay.
