Hey ! So, I want to apply for a scholarship opened by Korean Government. But I need help in correcting my grammar and stuff. I will appreciate any help. Thank you so much and wish me luck ! hahahaha :D
So here is what they requested to be on the letter:
o Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
o Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
o Your motivations for applying for this program
o Reason for study in Korea
I was born in Medan and raised in Jakarta in a family of five. I have two younger siblings. As the oldest, I have the biggest dream to make them happy with everything they need being covered. Therefore I do what I do best, STUDY. If there is a phrase, curiosity killed a cat, I am sure it does not affect me. My curiosity did help me through my 22 years of being alive. Curiosity is one of my motivations to always study and learn more which made study easier. Curiosity made me view life as a series of little boxes of present which filled with good and bad things that will not be known if the boxes are not opened.
Bringing laughter and entertainment to people is my passion. Film and theatre is the perfect field to express my passion. Because of my love of movie, I have a dream to involve in a movie production since I was a child. I have dreamt to be a screen writer, a director, a casting manager and an actor in a movie. While my interest in theatre began when I was on my sixth semester in university. In my drama performance class, I was required to produce a play where I was one of the playwrights. I and my friend modified Shakespeare's As You Like It in to a modern version play where it is adaptable to today's culture. When it was being performed, there was a feeling of happiness that telling me to do it again which is why I want to broaden my knowledge in film and theatre by choosing this major as my graduate study.
I was an English Literature student, I took this major because English literature major not only provides me with English language learning but also provides me with the cultures in English speaking countries such as America, England and Australia. As you can guess, language and culture is my other interest besides film and theatre. My interest in language and culture does not stop at English speaking countries; I am also interested in Asian language and cultures. One of them is Korea. I self-taught myself Korean language from the internet and from watching Korean drama. From the learning, I managed to remember all the Hangeul and know some basic words in Korean. Then I also joined a local language center to improve my Korean language skill which got me an 'A' in the final test for level 1.
I finished my bachelor degree this year. I finished it in 3,5 years, a fast track for my major which usually takes 4 years to finish. During my university life, I was mostly focused on my study. However, I managed to involve in volunteer work such as typing for the blind, I was also a mentor for my juniors for one semester which got me scholarship for the following semester. I was also included in 3+1 program at my university, a new program that requires student to do one year of internship before graduating. I was one of twenty students chosen from approximately 80+ students because of having stable GPA since the first semester which is above 3.0. I do not have working experience yet in theatre and film field but I have done an internship in a banking company which developed my team work skill and communication skill which I believe are important in professional world.
I have several motivations to participate in KGSP 2016. First, I like how KGSP giving so much benefit to students such as pursuing Master title with wide range of major choices while also giving the chance to learn about Korean language and culture. This motivates me because Korea is one culture which I have big interest in and also Korean film industry is probably one of the most influential in this century as Korean movies are being enjoyed by people all over the world by now and also succeed in winning awards in prestigious international film festivals such as Cannes, Berlin and Venice. Next, my motivation for applying for this program is to make my parents proud of me. I believe it is a duty for every child to make his/her own parents happy and proud. Then, my other motivation is because I have a dream that Indonesian movie industry will always grow and have more original ideas to be given to the audience. To make this real, I intend to learn more about how Korean film industry worked.
Why study in Korea? I love Korean language and culture. I also love the fact that the country is highly advanced in technology which affects the university there. Because of advanced technology, students are given full support in doing whatever research they conduct in various field they take. As I stated before, Korean film industry is one of the most influential in this century. For that reason, I admire the fast growing industry and want to learn further from the country through the graduate study in related major. In order to do a thorough learning, I intend to conduct a research which will be explained below on the statement of purpose.
Hi Cynthia. I am also one of the KGSP candidates. Let me try to correct you as best as I can. First of all, your introduction didn't match with the rest of the essays. You talked on how curiosity had help you to study but how is it related to the major that you choose and want to choose? Maybe you can talk in your introduction about a film or a situation that had inspired you in choosing English as your undergraduate major and try to develop your essay until you can related to the current major that you want to choose.
As I was improving your grammar, I realized that there is no flow between one paragraph to another. You should talk on your major first before talking on the play that you were involved in since it was a part of your major. Then, talk about your volunteer works and your achievement before stating about internship and your graduation how all of these points has lead you in choosing theater and film as your master's degree. Try to write as you are telling a story or as you try to make a movie. Right now, if I can relate your essay with a movie, it is like the beginning of your movie doesn't relate much to the rest of the movie. You can also make you essay into 4 paragraphs with each paragraph for each requirement. Hope this will help you. Good luck ! ^^ Oh, try to avoid repeating your points several time in the essay.
Thank you for the feedback @Lynn88Mr and @zeyel .
@Lynn88Mr , I will try giving comment on your essay, but I think it is already good enough with every subjects they want mentioned on the essay :D