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'to pay for my tuition and books' how will a $3000 scholarship help you?


elenaaj 1 / -  
Apr 29, 2012   #1
its a min of 250 words. i have 183

Not every family is born into money. Both of my parents were born and raised in Panama. My father joined the Marines in order to pay for college, which took him 17 years to finally graduate with his master's in Public Administration. My mother worked 3 jobs in order to pay for her classes on her own. She graduated with a Bachelors in Education. My family is made up of immigrants who have worked hard to become the average American middle class.

Going to college is starting to become expensive, and pretty soon those who want to go to school won't be able to. Receiving this scholarship would greatly help the struggle my parents are going to go through when I start college. Having a three thousand dollar scholarship would mean that I'm one step away from going through loan offices or working two jobs in order to pay for my education. This scholarship would let me focus on school work and studying rather than worrying about how much money I need to make in order to pay for my tuition and books.
giorgio186 9 / 54  
Apr 30, 2012   #2
You can add a few sentences about what you would like to study in the future.

thean average American middle class

Not every family is born into money. Both of my parents were born and raised in Panama. My father joined the Marines in order to pay for college, which took him 17 years to finally graduate with his master's in Public Administration. My mother worked 3 jobs in order to pay for her classes on her own. She graduated with a Bachelors in Education.

Having a three thousand dollar scholarship would mean that I'm one step away from going through loan offices or working two jobs in order to pay for my education . This scholarship would let me focus on school work and studying rather than worrying about how much money I need to make in order to pay for my tuition and books.

Try to avoid using the same phrase too close in your text.
Your beginning is good.
Good luck.


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