How will the proposed study contribute to your career?
After completing my master's degree from Australia in Public health, I will be working with the department of Health, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa as consultant physician and pulmonologist. With main emphasis on diseases like Tuberculosis including TB/HIV, MDR and XDR TB, Pneumonia, COPD and Asthma, Thoracic malignancies and other chronic respiratory conditions. Furthermore, I will be involved in research studies, teaching, academic conferences, activities of Young Doctors Association & advocating for reforms in our health policies.
Master's in public health from one of the renowned institution in Australia will greatly enhance my possibilities as consultant pulmonologist and enable me to help my nation achieving the goal of preventing disease and promoting health. We must work hard to achieve the Sustainable Development Goals by 2030, which is only possible after we are self-sufficient in clinicians with strong public health knowledge. The course will provide me with strong foundation in the research disciplines of epidemiology, biostatistics, health economics and health promotion. Moreover, it will strengthen my research and problem solving skills as well as the broader social context in which public health programs are planned, delivered and evaluated.
Pakistan is among countries that will be hit hard by the environmental changes in future. Master's in public health program form both the UWA and Griffith University, will provide me with the opportunity to study courses like health in the era of environmental change and environmental and occupational health to help my country in tackling the problem in an effective way. Moreover, the proposed program will also equip me with the knowledge to effectively use the available resources for better outcome and make timely decisions for the control of communicable diseases, most importantly, tuberculosis and HIV.
If Pakistan is going to achieve its SDGs, it must strengthen its research. We need public health specialists and epidemiologists to point out the gaps in our current health system and propose effective solutions. After the studies, I will be able to carry on my research on Mesothelioma, TB and COPD with greater outcomes and to address upcoming issues of my country like cigarette smoking, indoor and outdoor air pollution and occupational health.
Apart from contributing to my society, country and alumni of the Australian award worldwide, the proposed program will also help me in developing and reshaping my own career. Moreover, it will broaden future job prospects for me as well.
@drimran
I recommend that you revise the formatting and structure of your essay in terms of the flow of content.
I would suggest the following layout:
1. The state of public health in Pakistan
2. Your personal experience with the system in your country
3. Insert your current first paragraph here
4. Tackle about why you have chosen Australia and this university
5. In terms of health practice, tackle what this university can teach you
6. Long-term career goals and professional development aspirations
By having a structure like this, you will have a more inductive method of essay writing. Doing this can enhance the output that you have because it will first explain the perspective that you have. Because your background has a strong influence on your decision to pursue this degree in the country, you can expound more about why this opportunity can teach you things that you otherwise would not be able to learn.
You should expand your last paragraph as well. How does a degree from Australia give you leverage specifically in your country? How will this give you even more opportunities to grow professionally? How will you be able to reshape your career and teach these lessons to other people once you get out of it?
Once you are able to curate your own story as descriptive as you possibly can, you would be able to enhance the content that you have right now.
Best of luck.
