Essay #2:
Please describe your educational, professional, and other goals. Describe how BYU
will help you achieve them. Limit your response to 300 words.
How can matter be both a wave and a particle simultaneously? I have no idea, but I would certainly like to find out. Questions like these, about the universe and the how the world works, have always fascinated me. It is in finding answers to complicated and interesting questions that has inspired me to pursue a career in science. Though I did not realize it at the time, my love of science began at BYU: At the age of two I remember standing in awe, at the enormous dinosaur in particular, in the Eyring Science Center with my parents while they were attending BYU and being fascinated by it. Because of this, from the very start of my life BYU has been associated in my mind with scientific intrigue. My interests have been refined over the years, but the desire to understand the natural world has led me to an interest in physics, and to BYU. As Albert Einstein once said "science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind". This is what makes BYU the ideal place to study physics: it possesses the unique synthesis of these two, science and religion, thereby providing the only holistic view of both. I intend to study physics and eventually earn a Ph.D. so as to be involved in researching and teaching in that field. Though this career I hope to increase my understanding of things as they are. But more importantly, I hope to give the knowledge that I find so valuable to others who can, with any luck, get some use out of what I hope to discover and teach. My ultimate goal is to make a difference in this world; by adding to the understanding of mankind through research, and assisting those whom I will teach, I intend to accomplish it.
This is my scholarship essay or BYU. It is due tomorrow, so any suggestions would be great. BYU is very much a religious university for those unfamiliar with it; and i'm actually considering trying to integrate more religious aspects in if i can.
its a few words over the limit, but I think the last two sentences can be combined into one. Also i'm a little unsure what to think of the intro...
Any specific suggestion or general suggestions on what I can improve would be greatly appreciated
Capitalization, comma:
As Albert Einstein once said, "Science without...
Okay, you mentioned an interesting question that gets a lot of attention in literature about quantum physics... but if you raise that question, you should show a little bit of understanding or at least familiarity with the people who did the research. Go a little further to explore the concepts you mention; that is not something you have to wait for college for. Show that you are proactive about researching what interests you.
Also.. why use all one paragraph? Consider breaking it up into a few paragraphs to help the reader organize her thinking about it. :-)
