My plan is to continue being a teacher as it will enable me to learn continually, share with others

Career Plan Essay

Here is my Career Plan Essay and I would love to take your comments and suggestions please

During my elementary education time, I was a member of the girls club helping students in their education which was extended up to establishing a library that gives service only for girls. At that time I was working as a volunteer librarian on my free time which enables me to realize how important it is in helping to upgrade the girls result and confidence. That is when I had realized how important it is to help girls in order for them to set their own goals and achieve it which starts with education.

One of the areas of the DFID works in my country Ethiopia is education. I really am passionate about this work of the UK government and regarding women there are programs like GEC (Girls Education Challenge) which is focused on educating girls to have a better life which is the core thing that I want to do up on returning home in cooperation with the UK government and concerned bodies.

While I went to the rural areas to visit my relatives I always see how hard it is for girls to get an education due to the unawareness of the society. I do try my best to teach them about the importance of education by exemplifying the educated peoples they know and try to convince them to send their children to a school especially girls since they are the less privileged ones. And I want to expand this besides my relatives and their neighbors with the help of DFID in Ethiopia.

While I am studying in UK and gain an experience with the education and from the society in the UK, I will be involved in voluntary work, because, in addition to gaining experience I want to give back a little to the UK community in any way that I can which will give me such a massive opportunity.

In returning to my home country with experience I would gain, one of the other things that I will do is to continue being a teacher as it will enable me to learn continually, share what I have with the peoples around me that include my students and colleagues. Also I would very much like to pursue my research work and be a leader on the research of my field of area and contribute to the development of my institution and also the society.

Hence, after getting an invaluable experience in UK, I would love to work in helping girls in education in parallel with my teaching and research work with a good research leading capability.

What are you writing? a Post Study Plan or a Personal Statement? This is nothing but a college level application paper of what inspires you to follow your dreams. This is not a post study career plan. This essay will be thrown away by the reviewer the minute he reads the opening statement. The post study plan must immediately present the ideas that you have for your future career upon returning to your home country. This essay is not about waxing poetic about your past academic life. Delete everything you have written in the essay except for paragraph 5. Only paragraph 5 actually applies to your post study plan because it talks of what you want to do when you return to your country. It is just too bad that your plans are too short.

These do not really cover your short and mid-term career plans. Where do you see your career in 5 years? That is what you should be discussing, how you can get to that point using the education you will be receiving in the UK. Your DFID reference is supremely weak. Your DFID reference must speak of the current projects that are in existence and how you see yourself fitting into those projects as a volunteer, or if you will develop a project that can be sponsored by the DFID. You don't need to describe what the organization is about. Rather, discuss what they do and why you want to be included in the work that transpires in their projects.

I am sorry if I am blunt about my review of your essay. It is just that, with all of the examples available for your reference regarding the Chevening essays on this forum, I find it hard to believe that you could come up with such irrelevant and non-essential essay presentations. The essays you have shown me so far are not worth the time that it took for you to write them.

I strongly urge you to stop writing your essays at this point. Review the essays here first to get an idea as to what information is needed and how to present it. Only then should you draft your essays for your application. If you keep writing essays without really understanding what is expected of you, you will get frustrated and angry at me each time I tell you to write a totally new essay. Which I think I have done twice already, or is it 3 times? I can't keep track. I just know that if you keep writing like this, you will get stuck in revision hell and miss the application deadline. So study the samples before you write any more essays in order to at least have a chance of submitting your essays on time.

@Holt
Thank you Mary and I will do.