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My potential contribution towards Mozambique development - Commonwealth Scholarship


gmeigo9 6 / 20 2  
Nov 12, 2018   #1
Hi, I would appreciate any help to make essay stronger. Thanks in advance.

Statement for Commonwealth Scholarship



In Mozambique, about half of rural population live without safe water, therefore the population resort to rivers and peccary traditional water wells where they became susceptible to get malaria, diarrhea and cholera (major causes of children deaths). Groundwater exploration is considered the most sustainable alternative for water supply in rural zones and Geophysics is one of the tools that make this solution possible through location of aquifers for construction of boreholes.

The need for more qualified national geophysicists is getting higher as new discoveries of natural resources are expected and the effects of climate change tend to worsen leading to intensification of geohazards. Completing this intense programme will allow me to bring more quality to the sector and contribute for reducing the impact of these challenges.

Geophysics can be related to Science and technology for development as the increasing developments in instrumentation, technology and interpretation techniques allows it to indirectly map physical parameters to solve complex geological tasks such as find aquifers, understand the causes and effects of natural hazards and discover new hydrocarbon reservoirs. These accomplishments contribute to economic development and reduce poverty.

During my studies I will learn different geophysical methods and create diversified contacts. After returning home, I will use the help of my contacts and my relationship with Commonwealth Scholarship and DFID to create partnerships with the company I am currently working to be part of the DFID project to ameliorate the rural water, sanitation and hygiene (WASH) service delivery in the water component conducting more accurate hydrogeological studies, monitoring boreholes and modelling the spread of contaminants. With the success of the water component, we will reduce child deaths caused by WASH absence and time spent to fetch water (mainly by women and girls) thus allowing them to dedicate time for other activities (study as example). The measure parameter will be the number of deaths caused by water-related diseases and number of girls in schools.

Later I will collaborate with multidisciplinary teams in the oil and gas industry processing and interpreting reservoirs data and reducing the exploration risk by decoding information of the rocks and fluids, therefore, contributing to exploit our resources. In three years, my determination, skills, achievements and strengthened relations will give me the chance to progress to a senior role in management. The success of hydrocarbon exploration will enable economic development, encourage investments and support our industrialization. The measure parameter will be more job creation and more fuel available to generate electricity.

The DFID is supporting programs to undertake Humanitarian and Climate and Environment challenges in Mozambique. As a long-term plan, I will create a geophysical company to offer services in natural resources exploitation and use geophysical and modelling techniques to identify causes and effects of natural hazards contributing to their risk assessment and monitoring, helping the government to strengthen hazards policies and the capacity to respond to emergency situations. In environmental sector, we will work with problems related with collapses and develop plans to reduce and evaluate the impact of contaminants.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Nov 13, 2018   #2
Walter, there seem to be a number of missing references in your essay. Either the references are missing or you did not present it clearly enough within your written work. The missing parts are as follows:

- ·The audiences and users of your proposed study
- the timeframe for their implementation
- ·How the impact of your work might be measured

The first one on the list should have been integrated into your paragraph 3 response where you said that Geophysics can be related to Science and technology. A clearer reference to the audience being geophysicists in your home country and some other scientists would have sufficed as part of the audience for your study. Bacteriologists could be one of the additional audiences and users of your study. I am sure you can think of some other scientists whose work will coincide with your own to represent as a part of the response.

The second one, relates to the way that you indicate your projects for implementation. As a masters degree student, you need to outline these projects as a 5 year career plan at the most. You are asked to present a timeframe and present it you must. Consider all the factors required for the completion of your project and hazard a guess regarding the start date and completion date. Whether you meet it or not is not an issue at the moment, you just have to prove that you have a project schedule in mind.

As for how the success of your project can be measured, you should also consider how you will be forwarding this information to the CSC. While your measurement metrics are acceptable, you have not explained how you plan to get this information over the scholarship committee to prove that you are doing well as an alumna of the scholarship.

Everything else in the essay corresponds to the requirements so you don't have to worry about the other parts of the prompt requirements. I just want you to be sure that the 3 part I mentioned are really clear, understandable, and applicable to the requirements of the review committee.


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