The future of design
I never thought to be studying industrial design as my career. Following the trend, I wanted to become an engineer in the love of construction art. Throughout my life, being a kid I have been involved in crafting objects using a variety of materials like paper, clay, and fabric etc. I used to wait for vacations to experiment with different construction trades like working with wood to form doll furniture, metallic wires, and beads to form jewelry (ornamentation), etc. After my high school graduation when I had to take admission for my undergraduate degree, it directed my attention towards product design that was recently introduced in Pakistan and also matched my passion for my future goal.
Product Design that revolved around User-Centered Design, enabled me to think critically towards problem-solving approach. The academic and professional insights has urged me to instigate the change in the educational aspect of design in Pakistan. By choosing to study 'Masters of Design' program in Australia, I intend to empower myself to become a better design educationist to learn the integrated aspects of the design field.
The aim to study at the chosen institutions is based on their contribution in the global design world. I aim to research in-depth on collaborative design and technologies. The combination of studio-based discourses along with technology-led practices not only allows independent experimentation but to learn and create different forms of art to reach and communicate a particular purpose. The opportunity to take the idea from its inception stage to the final product can enhance my skills and technical pinning of the field. The future of design plays a pivotal role in the future innovations, and the opportunity of working with a diverse range of design thinkers (the Faculty) who are working together to bring the advancement in the field. By studying there I believe to have myself well-positioned in my field to lead the future prospects of academia in my country.
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Totally delete the first paragraph of your essay. That is a total waste of space and is not relevant to the discussion that the reviewer will be looking for. Rather, you should work on developing most of the current second paragraph as the reason why you chose the course. Make that your first paragraph instead, with an extended discussion of your professional reason for choosing the course. Offer 2 sets of reasons for the course choice. The first is career oriented based on your desire to modernize the design industry of Pakistan. The second, should have a personal reason. The personal reason should veer on the side of how you will find a sense of personal growth and fulfillment by increasing your understanding of how design affects the mindset of a person and can help create a sense of personal joy for you because you will learn how to design for a specific, personal reason. There is no need to adjust the content about why you chose the institution. That part is good. It will be better when you relate the chosen course, academic, and personal reasons, with the institution choice. From what i can tell, without the first paragraph, the remaining paragraphs will allow you to revise the content in a manner that could be of interest to the reviewer.
Thank You very much for your guidance. I have a better direction to work on it and improve it further.