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Productive high-school years - UWC scholarship essay


Ermuun 1 / 1  
Jan 25, 2021   #1

UWC scholarship essay 2021 - 2023



In the space below, please write a statement of not more than 300 words explaining why you are interested in attending a UWC school or college. Describe both what you might contribute and what you would hope to gain. Include a description of your background, family and an account of any experiences you have had in meeting people from other backgrounds than your own.

Nothing excites me more than meeting people from a different background than my own. I transferred to ISU in sixth grade, a school that offers a full IB Programme and a community of diverse groups of students representing 24 different nationalities. During my stay, an international education opened my eyes to the richness of different cultures that helped me grow fond of the idea of being in a multicultural community and learning more about myself and the world.

When introduced to UWC, I soon came to realize that my knowledge on multiculturalism is scant in contrast to the ones who study at UWC. This fact incited me with desiring to learn more about diversity. The aspects that inspired me the most are Diversity, the IB and Community Service. Being in a community with a more diverse student body will allow me to learn more about other cultures, and different points of views. I wish to continue my journey with the IB as the wide range of glasses and a high standard recognition can help act as a stepping stone for me to reach my future goals. Lastly, I am interested in UWC's community services as I wish to participate in activities and experience life and culture in a different country.

I believe that I have the motivation to make my high school years productive and successful as I am eager to meet and collaborate with new people. As a sports lover, I wish to contribute to UWC's sports teams and enhance the schools performance through teamwork. I want to participate in community services that have a positive impact on the environment and people. After attending UWC, I hope to make many friends around the world for potential mutualistic business opportunities in the future and a deeper understanding of intercultural communication.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,317 3351  
Jan 25, 2021   #2
You have failed to respond to the most crucial point in this essay. How does your own diversity add to the uniqueness of UWC? That is the whole point of asking you to describe what you might contribute, aside from what you hope to gain. You have also failed to include an explanation regarding how your family background or family life can help you become an interesting addition to the UWC community. You focused too much on your experience at your international school and what you hope to gain that the statement lost its informative balance in the end. Covering 2 out of the 4 required discussions will not help make this a well rounded essay. Only a reference to all required areas can do that. Revise the total essay. Try to bring all the required discussions into a balance that offers a well rounded look at your character, background, and personality.
AbdelrahmanWal4 - / 2 1  
Jan 26, 2021   #3
I think you did not focus on the main goal of how you are going to contribute to UWC. Try to be as unique as you can and mention something that can render you stand out among the crowds.
OP Ermuun 1 / 1  
Jan 27, 2021   #4
Thank you so much for the feedback. I have fixed it and could you give me one last feedback before I apply? I have exceeded the 300 word limit whilst trying to balance the 4 discussions.

It was just another tedious summer Monday evening as I was in my room on my bed until a call came that has amused me like no other. The words from my friend; "UWC, one of the most diverse high schools with the IB program" was enough for me to jump off my bed. A more diverse student body could allow me to learn more about other cultures, and help me stay globally engaged. The IB program's wide range of classes and a high standard recognition can help act as a stepping stone for me to reach my future goals. Lastly, studying abroad to explore around the globe and improving my self-management skills.

I come from a Mongolian family of six with two younger sisters and a brother. As the eldest child, It is without a doubt one of my core root of inspiration in academics and learning is due to the amount of responsibility I bear. I currently study at an international school with a community of diverse groups of students representing 24 different nationalities. During my stay, international education has opened my eyes to the richness of different cultures. It showed me that the world outside my country is full of mysteries; thus it helped me grow fond of the idea of being in a multicultural community. Hence, I believe that UWC is the place for me to go.

I am an individual who loves to meet and collaborate with new people. Therefore, at UWC; I want to inspire, collaborate with others, and have a student-led approach by hosting events and parties to motivate, unite, and brighten the students and teachers to have successful and productive school years. After attending UWC, I hope to make many friends around the world for potential mutualistic business opportunities in the future to help bring change to our country for my biggest goal, which is to end the hazardous pollution in winter that puts hundreds of thousands of lives at risk.


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