Hi this is my essay for chevening application. Helps are very much appreciated. Thanks!
2. NETWORKING QUESTION
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.
I believe that networking is impactful to the advance on individual's or organizations' success. It goes beyond building relationship and sharing information, but also to help each other. Once you change your attitude towards potential partners, their reaction will be positively proportional and inevitable.
Through working in dynamic projects, I had to coordinate and deal with many external parties. It gave me privilege to constantly make a connection with people from different backgrounds and disciplines. When I worked with them, I made sure I engage first with the bosses or owner of their company. At the beginning of project I have always had a kick-off meeting and make sure I get their full support. I approached them doing just like what I do when I casually make friends than just exchanging business card. That is why every time I had difficulties with their field team, I was able to directly contact the owner to have strategic solution and had them push their team to work better.
One time I had a deadlock problem when I was handling one of my projects in Plant Manado. We found micro bacteria in the water treatment so we have to re-cleanse the system. The vendor was already back to Jakarta after they finished the work and we for sure did not expect to do the cleaning again. The timeline was very short so we had no time to wait to send the vendor back since it is so far; 3.5 hours flight from Jakarta and another 2 hour drive from the airport. I asked for help from the plant team and they gave me contact of a local vendor. Unfortunately, unlike our regular vendor, the local one asked us for immediate payment, while the policy of my company is to pay 3 months after the invoice is received. They would really like to help us, but it is a local business practice to have the hard cash. Long story short, I took the initiative to reach the owner of one of the vendor who was also working there too. He finally agreed to pay the local vendor immediately, and afterwards they can charge the company directly with the normal term of payment. The timeline was met and the project was finished successfully. As a bonus, when I went diving at the end of the project, the local vendor offered me discount and free accommodation since he has a friend who owned a cottage near the beach.
Being a Chevening scholar offers the opportunity of meeting motivated leaders from different backgrounds and cultures. This will help me excel my skill of networking. As I advance in my career, the challenge that I am going to take will be harder and require me to reach more significant people. Therefore, I can leverage my network to help me determine strategic action to the problem I am facing using resources, information, and cooperation with them. (487 words)
here are some small corrections:
Through working on dynamic projects
It gave me the privilege to
or the owner of their
At the beginning of a project I
was very short, so
I like your example of how you used your network to solve the problem at the water treatment plant, although I think you can explain the story in less words.
The preceding paragraph is a bit vague though. You speak of "dynamic projects" and "many external parties" without explaining the type of projects and parties. I think it could be useful to mention your profession and some details about the projects here. After reading your essay I still don't know what line of work you are in, except that one project had something to do with water.
Here are some possible corrections:
1. Clearly mention with names what projects and which external parties you are talking about in the second paragraph. However, if it involves any person's name, seek their permission before mentioning it in your essay.
2. Revise the second paragraph entirely. Kindly remove this sentence, " I approached them doing just like what I do ..." Also, instead of using the words 'bosses' and 'owners', better write 'upper management'.
3. The phrase used in the second paragraph, "and had them push their team to work better", is giving a rude impression for some reason. Use a better and polite phrase.
4. Most importantly, clearly mention your job designation and a little bit about your work profile. After reading the entire essay, I am still unaware about your designation.
5. Relate the incident of water plant with the company you were working in and which year did it happen. It will add more value to your essay.
All the best!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,699 3503
Ayu, your essay covers networking and influencing in its presentation. The problem that you resolved is not an example of a networking skill but rather, an influencing skill. Therefore, that is not the correct example to give in this presentation. The proper networking example should be one that shows the skills that are involved or that you use in an effort to create a network of usable contacts within your profession. These are the contacts that you (hopefully) continue to cultivate and whose presence can help you and the other Chevening members in the future. There is no clear discussion as to the type of network that you have created, in what field of work, and how you hope to use this network in the future. Additionally, you have not included a discussion as to how this particular chain of contacts can help to improve the existing Chevening network in order to offer guidance and assistance to the Chevening scholars who may need it in the future. Revise the essay by correcting my aforementioned observations. That should help to better direct your essay towards the necessary response.
Actually, I'm not an expert of this since I also need to write my essay for Chevening, but may be you find my information useful.
Your review has covered about networking and influence questions. Unfortunately, I don't get the point about your networking skill. It'll be great if you also mention the project you have done at your first paragraph. Another my suggestion is proudly mention what kind of your job you're doing. After finishing your essay, I don't even know what your job is.
hi christi. thanks for helping. Actually I have mentioned about my backgrounds and projects in work experience in the application form. Do you think I should imply this in every other essays?
I have checked yours too. Thanks a lot!
I previously assumed that it is a networking kind of problem solving because I look for my contacts to check who can help me. I think I should emphasize that point. for how I can help chevening community with my network, I surely will try to fit that subject in. Thanks for your inputs! anyway, (I repeat my question to the other user above), I have mentioned about my backgrounds and projects in work experience in the application form. Do you think I should imply this in every other essays?