Please provide a personal statement detailing your personal and/or academic goals and how your personal life experience shapes or impacts your hopes for the future.
Finally the long awaited day had come. I was going to start fresh joining high school as top scorer in the entrance exam. I waked up early in the morning. I helped my mom preparing meal for the family. After a while, the whole family gathered around the table to have breakfast as usual. Nonetheless, this one was with bad news. My dad diagnosed with leg muscle problem told us he won't be teaching in the weekends since the doctors advised him to get enough rest, leaving one of us to drop out of school. Passing through the big gate of my new school as if I paid the tuition, I headed straight to the notice board looking for solutions. Fortunately, I came across to two new posts, first is competition for scholarship funded by local bank, the other is job vacancy for students as chemistry lab assistant in a middle school. I succeeded in winning both of them. After two weeks I got a night job in tobacco cigarette factory as furnace feeder.
After all, one has to pass the hard times to eat the fruits of life. Although working these jobs and learning at the same time is so exasperating, it have paid off well. These jobs propelled me to become a caring, hardworking and dependable person. Getting out of my comfort zone, I got to expose myself into real professional world at a tender age of 15. Furthermore, I have been able to integrate what I demonstrate in chemistry labs to what I learn in my chemistry class and what I see in the cigarette factory. I have become passionate to know how the massive reactors are build, how a simple chemical reaction in the lab can be done in industrially, and to study how everything I see around is manufactured.
These experiences will only push me forward to my dream of pursuing chemical engineering and becoming an entrepreneur engaged in manufacturing new and improved products by environment friendly industries. I plan to do researches on traditional medicines used in my society and if possible to produce them industrially.
unluckily, my mom has been in hospital since last year diagnosed with liver cancer. Although, I couldn't join college since the most of our income goes to her treatment, I ensured myself I will fulfill my dreams no matter what.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Harvey, you are wasting the reviewers time by setting up the scenario regarding your father's injury and how you decided to find a solution to the problem of one of his children having to drop out of school. Get to the point. Open the essay by simply saying:
My father had a leg injury that forced him to cut back on his work hours. His decision, which my mother supported, was to have one of the siblings drop out of school because our family finances were strained. I refused to accept that decision. I was not going to be the child in the family who dropped out of school.
Your essay need not be as wordy as it is now. Just focus on presenting the facts immediately. By immediately talking about your personal goal (not dropping out of school and completing your education), you cut down on the unimportant information at the start o your essay. The rest of your information, does its work well in terms of representing your academic goals and how your personal (life) experiences have led you to this ambition.
