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Proving that it's me who belongs to the future leaders or influencers - Chevening Scholarship


arian IB 2 / 2 3  
Oct 18, 2016   #1
Hi everyone!

I have written this essay for the chevening scholarship as the leadership essay, and welcome all your feedback, comments, recommendations and corrections. Please...

*Chevening is looking for individuals that will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

(minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

To be a leader, it is needed to know the challenges and threats and be capable of taking advantages of opportunities and abilities, optimally. So, realism is essential. The more a leader knows various aspects of environment and people, he could be more successful. People will watch how the leaders are behaving and how their decisions are unique. This was the intellectual and experiential context that my abilities and capacities are grown.

Throughout the life there are many chances to experience leadership: the chances could be found in a friendship group as a friend, in school as a student, at work as a manager or in the family or society as a member. Basically, being a leader in college research team in the university, manager in women's empowerment project in my Hometown Herat city and as an organizer and member of gatherings of civil and justice taught me valuable leadership features: Mission clarification and development of vision, planning in advance, team developing and choosing the best players for the critical roles, relationship building, being good listener and analyzer, open to criticism and rational reactions, networking in the proposed group, providing creative resolutions, positive to the changes, identifying the opportunities and weaknesses, motivation and maintaining the moral of the teammates and management of change and transformation.

In one of my past job experiences in the women's empowerment project, I faced the problem of motivating and managing the girls and women to write their feelings and start discussions about the critical issues of the day in their society, via social media through essay writing. For the first step, I did network for the under coverage girls and making teams among them to help communicating. Then, in every team encouraged them to choose a topic for discussion discuss, give their opinions, analyze from various aspects, find the weakness and opportunities and initiate the resolutions, provide recommendation for the improvement, and as a whole, analyze the topic based on their social status. The plan was that the girls were taking points from the group discussions and by the gotten ideas from the group, they have written their essays.

In academic life, I had the leadership experience in the university to do a group-research, alongside many other groups. To have a coordinated dynamic group, I started consultation with some of my classmates. As soon as the group was made, we started the research works, to be the first in the competition with the best accepted result. It was a mission that I led the group toward and at the end; we had the best research with the best result in the class.

As a person who has some leadership experiences in my jobs, civil activities and academic field, I believe that pursuing my dream, which is being a social development leader, needs more skills, experiences and knowledge. Further and deeper studying in a high-ranking university is an important step toward it.
Phoowadon 5 / 26 11  
Oct 18, 2016   #2
1.

The more a leader knows various aspects of environment and people,he could be more successful .

I suggest to write The more a leader knows various aspects of environment and people, the more he/she could gain successfully.

2. This part seems confused in what a period of time you are trying to describe, it is mixed up with future, simple continuous and past tense ones. some of them are not following the form that used before.

.People will watch how the leaders are behavingandhow their decisions are unique .
This wasthe intellectual and experiential context that my abilities and capacities are grown.

I suggest to write
People will observe how the leaders would behave and make their unique decisions ( an adj. must come before a Noun)
This are cetainly intellectual and experiential contexts that my personal ability has been grown up obviously.

I will be back and inspect more
MPT991 1 / 2 1  
Oct 21, 2016   #3
Hi arian, thanks for your comment in my essay
In one of my past job experiences in the women's empowerment project, I faced the problem of motivating and managing the girls and women to write their feelings and start discussions about the critical issues of the day in their society, via social media through essay writing. For the first step, I did network for the under coverage girls and making teams among them to help communicating.

You should state the problems you faced in motivating the girls.

Then, in every team encouraged them to choose a topic for discussion, give their opinions, analyze from various aspects, find the weakness and opportunities and initiate the resolutions, provide recommendation for the improvement, and as a whole, analyze the topic based on their social status:

This sentence is too long, would be easy to understand if you break it into 2 or 3 sentence
I encouraged each team to choose a topic for discussion, share opinions and analyse it from their different perspectives. They also had to find out the weaknesses, opportunities, initiate resolutions and put forward recommendations for improvement.

The plan was that the girls were taking points from the group discussions and by the gotten ideas from the group, they have written their essays.

The ideas they shared during the group discussions helped them in writing their essays.


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