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"The quarantine" - Leadership and influencing Chevening



alian 1 / 3  
Oct 25, 2024   #1
Dear all, I'd like your feedback on my leadership and influence essay. Please let me know what parts you think I can cut.

The quarantine changed everything. While the world stood still, my life moved forward in ways I never expected. The loss of my father during this time was not only emotionally devastating but also came with immense responsibilities. I found myself stepping into his shoes, tasked with completing a significant landscaping project for the xxxx o xxxxxxxxxxxx in cityx, countryx.. This experience tested my resilience and leadership, pushing me to adapt quickly, manage a team, and deliver results during an uncertain period.

It was in those moments of pressure and solitude that I discovered a passion for web design and development. Determined to create something positive from this challenging time, I taught myself web development and began taking on freelance projects. This was more than just a means of survival it became a journey of empowerment. Technology allowed me to create value for myself and my community.

My leadership journey continued as I took on a role at xxxxx, xxxxxx first innovation hub. I led initiatives aimed at closing the digital skills gap, especially for young women in my community. By organizing and mentoring participants in coding boot camps, I empowered them to turn ideas into tangible solutions. Many of these participants have since become freelancers or secured roles with international organizations like the UN, this experience reinforced my belief that leadership is about creating opportunities for others to thrive.

Leading the digital campaign for the xxxx xxxx Summit in 2021 further broadened my influence. As the Social Media Coordinator, I worked with a dynamic team to make the summit xxxxx's largest tech event, trending across social media and shining a spotlight on the country's burgeoning tech scene. My role was not just about managing a campaign but about inspiring others to recognize the power of technology in driving societal change.

Through the Chevening scholarship, I aim to deepen my leadership capabilities and amplify my impact. Studying in the UK will provide me with the academic and professional tools to drive digital transformation in xxxxxxx. I plan to use this experience to advance my career and contribute to my country's development by equipping young people with the skills and opportunities they need to succeed. For me, leadership is about action-building a brighter future not just for myself, but for the next generation.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Oct 25, 2024   #2
You do not need to use several references for leadership and influencing discussion. You should focus on developing your most important and admirable leadership experience instead. From the way the presentation was done, I believe that you should have focused on the innovation hub experience alone. Revise the essay to focus on that career leadership and influencing presentation. Expand on the current discussion so that you can better develop your leadership qualities presentation while expanding on the influencing experience later on. These information can easily fill 4 paragraphs for the explanation. It does not have to be a long essay. It has to be an informative essay. So introduce your leadership foundation for the opening paragraph, then proceed to leadership in the next paragraph, with the influencing expanded explanation right after (in the next paragraph). The concluding paragraph can explain your unique definition of leadership and influencing in a combined manner, effectively closing the paragraph on the strongest possible note.
OP alian 1 / 3  
Oct 25, 2024   #3
@Holt
I have seen your feedback it's always incredibly helpful, and I'm grateful for your guidance. Thank you so much for taking the time to provide such valuable feedback on my essay.
a_sm 2 / 3  
Oct 25, 2024   #4
You need to make your post more fluent and connected, don't talk about irrelevant life events, and focus on showing your role as a leader in professional and social enviroments.


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