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It's quite competitive ... McCall McBain Scholarship application



phuongvqueen 4 / -  
Aug 8, 2026   #1
Hello everyone, I'm preparing my application for my postgrad study, this scholarship from McGill University is so important to me to continue this study, which I planned during my undergrad. I know my answer is missing something, but I can't identify what. Please help me to read and give me some feedback. I really appreciate your help!

Tell us how your community or communities have influenced you, and, if relevant, how they have shaped the choices you have made so far in your postsecondary path. (225 words)
My postsecondary path has been shaped by HUST's materials research community, beginning with a professor who interviewed me for university admission.
When materials science was still emerging in Vietnam, he recognized promise in my chemistry background, intellectual curiosity, and English proficiency. In my first year, he offered me to join his laboratory, where I read and translated papers across several fields. Beyond helping the group survey emerging directions, which taught me how researchers identify consequential questions, it also helped me discover my interest in the biomaterials field. Captivated by how engineered materials could interact with biological systems to address health challenges, I committed to biomaterials research since my second year.
Although specialized equipment and expertise remained less accessible in Vietnam, my lecturers encouraged me to persevere. I explored postgraduate programs that would allow me to investigate tissue engineering and other clinically relevant challenges. During my first internship in Singapore, I collaborated across disciplines, worked with advanced facilities, and pursued applied projects with strong institutional support. This experience crystallized my decision to pursue graduate study abroad, develop rigorous expertise, and ultimately strengthen biomaterials research in Vietnam.
Upon returning, I was entrusted with guiding students on an applied biomaterials project. As I helped them review literature, design experimental protocols, and analyze data, I realized that research communities shape both our ambitions and our responsibility to support others.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 16160  
Aug 8, 2026   #2
The essay needs to be more focused on the communities you worked within rather than including the discussion about the professor that you met. Stick to the essay focus point. So that means you need to better develop:

1. Your internship in Singapore and how that exposure left you open to exploring more learning avenues post secondary course.
2. The community you were entrusted to develop upon your return to Vietnam. This is a focal point that should carry a heavier influence on your decision to pursue post secondary studies.

For the internship, discuss more about your relevant exposure to programs and the influence that the mentors assigned to you had. Expand on that discussion. The same goes for the Vietnam community. You are focusing too much on unrelated discussion and varely developing the discussion points that actually matter. Perhaps you can try to write a new essay instead. One that will help you focus on the communities as required by the prompt statement.


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