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Reason to study in Korea - Self Introduction : My name is Muhammad

Muhammad91 1 / 1  
Feb 3, 2017   #1
o Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
o Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
o Your motivations for applying for this program
o Reason for study in Korea.

Please Help me to make it perfect....... Is my goal perfect to convince them or is it relevant goal.? If not please suggest me.....

Korea Study - my desired Masters program

My name is Md. Ali Akram Jahed. I am a 25 years old from Bangladesh. I was born in 1991 in a small city called Sunamgonj. When I was 3 years, we moved to Sylhet. Few years later, I took admission in class one. After completing class one I got a chance to be admitted in Government school for class three. From my childhood I was very observant and curious of my surroundings, I was interested to check everything to know what is it and how it works. If I find anything wrong I try to understand to solve it out. This type of attitude help me to score high in mathematics. In my academic exam, after solving 80% of the Mathematics I was confident that I will score not less than 80.

However, when I completed my higher secondary education, I took decisions that I will study Bachelor of Business Administration with major in finance & banking. My analytical capability and mathematical expertise led me to choose this subject. In my university life, I prepared report on financial performance of a specific bank by analyzing annual statements using financial ratio analysis tools and considering economic factors. I learned how to manage the portfolio risk of assets and also get the knowledge that how the risk can be zero mathematically. However, I can still remember that one of my course teachers told us to prepare a report and advertisement on a specific bank. We made it and got a first prize. From this task we learned how to deal with customers and how to promote a bank by making only a 60 seconds advertisement.

In addition, as a requirement of my graduation program, I worked for three months in a bank as an intern to complete the internship program and also had to make an internship report on the topic of "Analysis of Credit Worthiness of the Borrowers". Moreover, over my graduation life, I was an active student at the university and had involved in many extracurricular activities. I am an ex-executive member of Social Services Club of Leading University and organized lots of program such as blood donation program, drawing competition, helping poor in winter season etc.

After completing my graduation program, I worked as a senior executive officer in an information based organization. From this job, I gained great experience in time management, employee management, team management, operations management and client management. This experience helped me to enhance my analytical skills, leadership skills, writing skills, communication skills and IT skills. According to my responsibilities, I had to go in different companies to do corporate presentations on service offerings which helped me to enhance my communication skills. I also worked extensively on Excel, Database, Word and PowerPoint.

During the years of studying business, I become certain that I want to develop my knowledge in a field that combines creativity, analysis, management and mathematics. That's why, I wish to express my interest in applying for a MBA with major in Accounting in Korea. It is true that in korea, education quality is much more better than our country. And also it's natural scenes and friendly environment attract me.

As we know, every student has a desired goal which s/he wishes to achieve in the near future. As same to them, my goal is to be the head of the Accounting department. I strongly believe that KGSP will help me to make my future bright toward goals. Through this scholarship program, I can remove my monetary tension that I don't have to manage tuition fees and living costs. I can make more concentration on my study which must be needed to make my dream come true.

Furthermore, by studying in korea I will be able to learn from different students of different cultures. I am also excited that I will get an opportunity to learn korean language. In addition, through this scholarship program, I will be able to help my new korean friends in sharing their knowledge by my website. I will be greatful if my project comes in their help. And also I love to take studying in others country as an adventure from which I can gain lots of different experiences. I strongly believe that my educational background, personal skills and my motivation make me a very good candidate for my desired Masters program.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,873 4563  
Feb 4, 2017   #2
Ali, the essay is not meant to be your autobiography. Rather, it is to be a reflective look upon your life so far in relation to your future plans. So the first part should be contemplative in approach. Think about your life, but not all the way back to the age of 3. Instead, talk about your family unit. What kind of family do you come from? Are they all supportive of your plans? have they always been that way? Is their support what helped shape the person you are today? How do you view the world today because of the kind of family that you came from? How does your world view inspire your future ambitions and hopes? What kind of contribution would you like to make in the future to the world in general?

Then, transition that point of view to how you were influenced to take your college major. Discuss your academic strengths, accolades, honors, recognition if any. Contribute some information about how you spend your extra curricular time. That would be all about the non-academic related activities such as club memberships or community service via organizations. Transition those experiences into an explanation of how you found yourself doing your current job, if there is a way to relate the said information.

Please mention the specific name of the company that you worked as a senior executive for and how long you worked with them. Explain how you feel that while you were performing your job, you came to realize that your college training would only help you accomplish the job to a certain degree. So you decided that it was time to seek higher academic and practical training via advanced courses in a masters degree in Accounting.

You do not have real motivation for wishing to enroll in this program that will be notable to the reviewer. You do not display and background or interest in the Korean culture and traditions that will help you settle in the country during your first year as a language student. I am not sure if you know this but there is a one year Korean language training program before you can start the 2 year masters degree program. The statement you created pertaining to that sounds more like you are looking forward to socializing and partying instead of actually studying and applying yourself in a more serious manner to the program.

That is another thing, there is no call to tell the reviewer that you require the scholarship because you want to concentrate on your studies. That is obvious since you are applying for a scholarship. Repeating it in the essay makes you come across as trying too hard to win the scholarship.

Basically, this essay that you wrote does not work very well for your application. You need to write a new one based upon the suggestions I made above. If you need more solid examples as to how to revise your essay, just look at the completed KGSP essays that are posted here for your reference.

Finally, double check the way that you wrote your essay. Make sure that you followed all the rules in writing proper nouns in reference to capitalization. Also, double check the punctuation. These are things that you can do as you revise your content. It should be automatic on your part because you are supposed to proof read the essay before you submit it for another review here.
OP Muhammad91 1 / 1  
Feb 4, 2017   #3
I am really upset. I don't know how to write well. I am not a native english speaker. I don't know much about korea. May be I can't. But really I need to get this scholarship.

Thank you for your all suggestions..
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,873 4563  
Feb 4, 2017   #4
Don't lose heart. If you know you don't qualify, then don't apply for this scholarship. Look for another scholarship that your experience and background might be better suited for. The KGSP grant is not the only scholarship out there. You can try to qualify for others. Just run a Google search for scholarship programs in your region and look up the qualifications and application deadlines. I am sure that if you just do the legwork, you will find the scholarship that you are best suited for. All of the scholarship applicants here try to apply for at least 2 or 3 scholarships in order to have a better chance at a grant. You should strive for the same thing. If you give up now, then you will never have tried. You can only say you tried hard after you have succeeded in getting yourself a grant.
little kitten 2 / 1 1  
Feb 4, 2017   #5
If you need some people correct your grammar and punctuation, maybe you can try these webs: paper rater/free_paper_grader spell check plus

On the above it's a website which can check your grammar and spellings automatically. If you need real people to check your article , you also can consider this website below: lang-8. They are not only useful but also free. Hope these resources can help you. Learn English and be successful. You can do it. Let's do it together!
notmargaux 2 / 3 4  
Feb 4, 2017   #6
Hi Muhammad! Don't give up! I am also applying for the scholarship and it took me about 2 weeks straight revising and revising my essays. You have to believe in yourself and remember why you're applying in the first place. Put your heart into it wholly. Your essay won't be perfect in the first try, you'll have to try and try again until you feel satisfied. It's good that you are on this website asking for advice as I'm sure there are people who will help you. You can also ask your friends to help you by asking them for their comments/suggestions. That's what I did and I was able to come to a point wherein I felt that I accomplished a good essay.

Keep it up, keep going. You can do this :)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,873 4563  
Feb 7, 2017   #7
Ali, this still does not provide the proper information for the KGSP program. The essay for the self introduction letter follows a specific pattern of information that is not found in your essay. The information you have to represent in the letter are as follows:

1. Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
2. Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
3. Your motivations for applying for this program
4. Reason for study in Korea

That is the actual prompt for this program letter. Do not focus only on the education and work experience. Deliver a personal look at your point of view regarding your life so far, based on adult considerations instead of childhood. Then talk about your hopes and wishes for both your personal and professional future. Divide the focus of the essay into relevant discussions that will fit on a single page at font size 10. Do not discuss your future goals in this essay. That is what you should discuss in your post study goals essay. Do not mention the university that you hope to be admitted to. That is a discussion best represented in the study goals essay. Just stick to personal, academic, and professional information in this essay. I have given you the prompt requirements above. Make sure that you balance your discussion based upon those suggestions. Double check your spelling. Make sure that all proper nouns are first letter capitalized. Don't think about the grammar rules right now. Focus on finalizing your content first. The grammar will be the last thing that you have to fix in this essay since your content is constantly changing in the draft phase. Finalize the content, then we can work on the grammar.
thuy_nguyet 5 / 13  
Feb 7, 2017   #8
@ Holt
Hi, I have some question want to ask about scholarship essay. When I found some scholarship, they said I can write everything (no special topic) but when I saw some essay in there, almost write about their childhood or their memory. Could I write something differently?

P/S: I want to receive more and more advice from you, Holt. How could I contact with you.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,873 4563  
Feb 7, 2017   #9
Thuy, different scholarships have different requirements for their applicants with regards to their essays. Some scholarships do not require a specific topic, others such as the KGSP and Ugrad programs have specific information that they want to learn about in the essay that you will be submitting. They have specific requirements for their applicants that you have to fall into for consideration. So before you apply for a scholarship, always double check the required essay information first. The foundation normally posts that on their website or is part of the application packet. The way that your essay will stand out has to do with your qualifications and urgency for a scholarship. Hard work and not just relying on the scholarship for your academic fees are also considered. It all depends upon what the scholarship committee requires as evidence of scholastic need and what they ask you to present as evidence and discussion of it.

I am sorry but I cannot allow you to contact me outside of this forum due to strict privacy guidelines of the moderators. You can always contact me here publicly by posting a thread for discussion. Just make sure to place my name at the start of the discussion so that I will know that you are looking for me and I can respond as soon as I can.

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