future renowned entrepreneur
Dear Admissions Committee,
It is a tremendous honor to offer a formal recommendation for Faiz Ahadina in his admission to your business school program. For the last two years, I have taught him as my student at Tanri Abeng University. I am completely mesmerized by his high-achievement, both in and out of the classroom, which he informs through his critical thinking rarely owned by Indonesian as well as starting his Tour and Travel Agency while studying at college. It opens the way to enlarge his hands-on experience in operations management, forming his interpersonal qualities, and cultivating his leadership aptitude. I can say with great certainty that Faiz is one of the most exceptional students I have ever encountered.
Faiz is well-known as industrious and humble person, the characters that help him to easily mingle with his peers and get trusted from others. His internship program was truly impressive, gaining experience to work with such great diplomats at the embassy of the republic of Indonesia in Sofia, broadening his mind about bilateral relationship of both nations. This also encouraged him to carried out exhaustive research on market entry analysis of an Indonesian furniture company into Bulgaria, in which he revealed several striking findings in terms of political and sociocultural, economic infrastructure as well as trade barriers.
Because of his advantages, I hire him to work with me as my Senior Consultant at Bright Indonesia, which is a market entry development specialist assisting International companies into Indonesia. In the company, he convincingly demonstrated strong interpersonal skills and the leadership capabilities compulsory for his successful career in the future. He handsomely contributed to attain many goals through his constructive comments as well as his entrepreneurial mindset truly demanded in start-up company like mine. For example, Faiz helped to seek Indonesian potential distributors for our client from Catalonia Trade Investment and being a tour guide for their business trip in Indonesia as well. Because of his contribution, my client felt highly satisfied with the service we provided.
Due to a great number of reasons above, I firmly recommend Faiz Ahadina as a candidate for your business program. I truly believe this program will be boon for his future, and someday a renowned entrepreneur whom you would be glad to call him as alumni. If you have any inquiries, please kindly send me a message at primadi.ws@brightindonesia.net
Sincerely,
Primadi W Soerjosoemanto, Managing Partner, Bright IndonesiaHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Faiz, you should clarify that this person worked with you in two capacities, one are your educator, the other, as your employer, at the start of the essay. That way, the relationship you have with him is defined from the start and does not seem like an abrupt addition in the later part of the essay.
As an educator, he must indicate the class you took under him, the duration of that class, and how you performed as a student. Use only information that he will definitely know about. Do not add information that you feel will enhance your application, specially if it is information not known to the teacher because he will get caught as being clueless about what you wrote or unfamiliar with the information should he be called upon to do a verbal interview, which is more likely than an email interview.
As your employer, he should indicate when he hired you, why he hired you, and what your job description is, among other things already indicated in this letter. Remove the reference to starting your travel agency in college. That makes it obvious that you wrote this letter and not the person referring you. The following are the topics that should be removed from this letter to remove the obviousness of the letter being written by the applicant:
1. Reference to the travel agency
2. Internship at the embassy
3. Exhaustive research on market entry analysis
The rest of the information is applicable and does not require anything more than grammar editing. It is the information I gave you above that you need to edit in order to make this a more appropriate recommendation letter.
